To Serve Insanity
by SarentoKensei
Summary: A story that i came up with on the spot. Russia doesn't realize how much pain he causes the Baltics until he wakes up from one of his blackouts and unintentionally hurts Lithuania. Revolves more around Estonia, Lithuania, Russia and Tartar. T for swearing
1. Proluge, I guess? Pilot? meh

**Disclaimer: Yes, I totally (Poland much?) own Hetalia. No way, don't own Hetalia! :(**

For some reason, Russia craved chili and rice.

And Lithuania had no clue why.

It was a rather simple American dish (thus the reason why Lithuania questioned why Russia craved the dish.) but the dish would incredibly hard to make, due to the fact that there was no chili, or rice, in Russia's whole mansion.

So, since it's somewhat impossible to make chili and rice WITHOUT chili and rice, Lithuania decided to head into the small town rather close to Russia's home. He would have to make haste though, the last time he was out for to long, Russia thought his servant ran away. Lithuania was given a punishment for that... While Lithuania headed out, he left Estonia in charge of doing the dishes while he was out.

Which probably wasn't his best idea, seeing while Estonia DID do housework, when it came to Russia's china Estonia was clumsier then Latvia. Estonia was much better at something on a computer, or hell, even math. He was usually trusted to file Russia's taxes. Estonia decided it would be best if he just gave Latvia the job of dish washing while he went to go find something else to do.

Besides, Russia got upset if you were just sitting around doing nothing, especially if you were one of his servants, then he believed it was your place to always be working, which is a bore.

While Estonia went to go find something to do, he became lost in his own thoughts. What DID he have to do? Lithuania already did the dusting, sweeping (which took forever in a house so large) and was going on to the cooking. Latvia had already finished the laundry, and was now doing the dishes. Estonia felt a little bad for doing little to no work. he decided to go re-file Russia's taxes when he walked right into the said man's large body.

"M-Mr. Russia s-sir! I'm very s-sorry. Er, is th-there anything I can do for you, sir?" Estonia stuttered, clearly frightened of the large nation.

This upset Russia, not really knowing WHY Estonia was afraid of him. He never hurt his little Baltic's, in fact, was the kindest towards them. What Russia really didn't understand is why everyone else said he beat them and treated the Baltic's like his pathetic slaves. He never did that, he would remember doing something like that...right? He figured he should ask Estonia, because Estonia would tell the truth.

"Estonia, why are you afraid of me?"

Estonia was taken somewhat aback by the sudden question, and had no clue how to respond without angering him. And he really didn't need to have another rib broken from his master's pipe.

"Ummmm" Estonia racked his brain for a possible answer while Russia stared him, almost blankly.

Why was he stalling? Did Russia really hurt his Baltic's?

Like how everyone hurt him?

Russia's mind flashed to an old, almost forgotten memory.

_He was a small nation at the time, and still under the Tartar's rule. He had just met a small, yet kind country by the name of Lithuania. whom he made a special promise to become a strong and powerful nation to protect Lithuania, for only then would he become his friend._

_He went back home, Tartar's home. The home wasn't properly cared for, which is why when Russia grew up, he said he wanted to live in a perfectly clean house. Tartar sat in the disgusting living room, glaring at dust._

_"Where were you?" Tartar pract__i__cally screamed._

_"I'm gonna make a friend!" said the small Russia._

_"You do not deserve friends you pathetic wretch. How dare you call yourself something as grand as a nation." Tartar said, almost bitterly._

_Russia just smiled and giggled._

_"What's so damn funny?" Tartar asked coldly._

_Russia continued to smile. "Nothing! I'm just happy"_

_"Who said you could be happy? I don't remember giving you permission to be happy!" Tartar shot from his chair, and slammed the ragged boy into a wall, gripping the small boy shoulders tightly. Russia could smell vodka on Tartar's breath. Russia always wondered why Tartar drank so much._

_"I-I'm sorry! I can't help it! Happiness is an emotion that can't be helped, da?" Russia tried to defend himself, but he just earned a slap to his face._

_"How dare you talk back to me! Apologize this once!" Tartar's voice roared._

_"I'm sorry..." The child mumbled, unable to wipe his eyes, due to being immobile with Tartar's tight grip on his shoulders. The best way to get out of this was just to succumb to Tartar's wishes._

_"I said I'm sorry!" Russia cried._

_"I don't believe you!" Russia was slapped again, and cried out in pain as long filthy hands grabbed and twisted his hair in order to gain a grip, and dragged Russia to receive his punishment. _

Russia snapped out of that god awful memory. What brought it on he would never know.. But as he looked around at his surroundings, he noticed he was no longer in the hallway with Estonia, he was now, in fact, in his basement which is filled with torture devices, a trembling Estonia who pushed his figure tightly against the wall, as if he pushed into the wall hard enough, he would melt into it. His flesh is turning purple as disgusting purple bruises were sprouting in various places on his skin.

"Master, p-please stop-" The voice was cut short, the voice that startled the just-waking-up Russia, and Russia moved into a position of defense, not realizing he had a whip in hand, the sudden jerk Russia made caused Lithuania to scream as the whip struck his face, slicing his lips and half his cheek open.

From what Russia could make sense of, Estonia never answered him, then the other half of Russia took control and started to beat Estonia. Lithuania must of heard what was going on when he came home and attempted to help, only to have Russia wake up and accidentally whipped Lithuania across the face, who fell down onto his ass in shock. Russia whipped him many times, he knew that, but on the back, which no one else could see. But the face is shown to the world.

"M-master, I- what did I do?" Lithuania sobbed, tears mixing with his own blood. Russia moved towards Lithuania, in an attempt to help him, but the closer Russia came, the more sick Russia felt as he saw Lithuania flinch and began shaking incredibly hard. Which is when Russia looked down at his hands, in his right he saw a whip, which he dropped on the cold cement floor, and a bottle of Vodka. From what he heard from who gives a damn where, in order to clean wounds, Russia would pour vodka on them. But that would cause the wound to scar, and Russia didn't want to ruin Lithuania's pretty face anymore then he might already have. Russia put the vodka on the ground next to the whip.

"Litva, come here." Russia didn't mean to make it sound like an order, but the way Lithuania quickly, but shakily got up , he clearly thought it was an order.

"Estonia, you come here too" Russia tried to say nicer, but he didn't doubt he sounded just the same.

Unlike Lithuania though, Estonia didn't respond. In the dim light, Russia could barely make out Estonia's eyes, which were unfocused. Russia eyes trailed to the ground, in which he found a shattered pair of glasses.

"Estonia, can you see?" Russia questioned.

"N-no, sir. I-I am incapable of seeing." Estonia's voice wavered miserably, Russia felt almost sick at how awful he sounded.

"Did I do this?" Russia asked, Estonia's glazed eyes looked over to where the voice came from.

"No sir. You did not." Estonia said.

_"Don't lie to me!"_

Lithuania flinched, he was standing next to Russia now.

That did it for Russia

"Why do you all hate me?" Russia mumbled, almost incoherently, and wiped his eyes, leaving the room without another word.

Lithuania walked over to Estonia.

"How about you go lay down?" Lithuania helped Estonia to his feet.

"Alright, I will, thanks." Estonia mumbled. Gripping Lithuania's shoulders for support. "Um, Lithuania?"'

"Hmm?" Lithuania said as he started guiding Estonia out of the room

"Are you alright? I heard him whip you. At least I think he whipped you, heard you scream." Estonia's head faced down, possibly trying to stare at his feet if he could see properly.

"He did, but don't worry. I am perfectly fine." Lithuania lied, the taste of his own blood was disgusting, Estonia sensed that he was lying, but said nothing more as he heard their bedroom door open. Latvia was already in the bed that they shared, sound asleep. Completely oblivious to the bruised Estonia and the possibly scarring Lithuania.

"I'll be in here later, I still have to make Russia's dinner. I'll also order you a new pair of glasses, but you'll have to go a day or so without glasses." Lithuania told Estonia.

"Okay." was all he responded with.

A slight awkward silence filled the room before Lithuania nodded and said

"When I come back up, I will bring you ice, okay?" Lithuania said, as Estonia slowly climbed into bed. The hard bed somehow feeling like it hit every bruise that Russia gave him from that pipe of his.

"Okay, thanks" Estonia forced a smile as Lithuania turned out of the room.

**Okay, so tell me you think and if this is actually good enough to write more~! I was texting a story that I came up on the spot with my friend. Then I decided to type it up, then made up the second half. So I really don't have an idea what to do next, so ideas would be wonderful. This is what I get for winging something. *sigh* Well, I at least hope none of you thought this was a waste of time and actually like this random story. Sometime I'll type up my fanfiction about how Russia took over the world and America became somewhat of Russia's bitch. Heh. Yeah, I get the strangest ideas. If it's confusing in any way, I'll clear that up in another chapter.**

**Love you all~! **


	2. Lithuania's chapter

**Aww! thanks for your reviews! I'm typing this up in Shari's! I'll try to make the next one longer, but i had to end this one where i ended it.**

**Disclaimer: Go to the last chapter. The chili recipe is not mine, it's my mothers.**

Chili and rice is extremely easy to make.

First you fry up a pack of ground beef. Then you season it with chili powder, add about a can of kidney beans with the juice, one can of black beans (with the juice) and one can of diced tomatoes(with the juice). But make sure the ground beef is completely cooked before adding any of the above ingredients, cook till hot, and scoop over steamed rice.

Which is why Lithuania finished it in no time at all, and was able to tend to his wounded face quickly.

He was letting the food sit for a few moments to cool down as he headed down to the bathroom to inspect his face in the mirror.

The gash across his face did not look good, it was swollen, turning a strange colour of purple and brown around the injury, the actual gash a bloody red . Lithuania sighed, wiping up some blood on his face, this would probably scar. Looking at the other nations would be hard, they already gave him pitying looks.

_One time, America, England, and France got drunk and found Lithuania. It was Christmas and the three blondes were buck naked. And much to Lithuania's displeasure, demanded that he strip too. Lithuania, not good under demands reluctantly gave in. the three were drunk, and no one noticed the scars on his back. Until the next morning, when they woke up in Poland's house. Lithuania was pinned stomach down under America and unable to leave to get dressed. When America woke up finally, bitching about his hangover, quickly silenced himself as he stared at Lithuania's back. England and France stared too, along with Poland. Lithuania began crying silently, as he grabbed some of Poland's clothes and left to return to Russia's. They haven't looked at him the same way again._

Lithuania shook that off, ignoring their pitiful looks was something he became accustomed to. He would lie and tell America it was an accident. America wasn't the brightest man in the world, he _might _fall for it...

Probably not.

When WAS the next world meeting?

Lithuania decided he would check later, he should get the food to Russia before he became upset due to the lack of food and hurt him further.

The food was the perfect heat , in which the food was not too hot, not too cold. He quickly brought a rather large bowl of it to Russia, along with a cup of milk. He then went to Russia's office to deliver the food. When he found the said man wasn't there, he went to his room. Lithuania knocked on the door.

"Chto?" Russia mumbled in his own language. Lithuania recognized it as 'what?'.

"Master, I brought your dinner" Lithuania said through the door. Russia was silent for a few moments, before opening the door wide enough for Lithuania, peeking childishly out of the side of the door.

"You may come in, Litva." Russia sounded like a child, which was always bad for Lithuania, for Russia was cruelest then. Lithuania tried not to shake to hard as he entered the Russians bedroom.

The room was much larger than his own, for Lithuania's room was small, with one bed for Estonia, Lithuania, and Latvia shared, and a dresser that held their uniforms. No wall paper, or windows were in the room, making it rather depressing. Russia's, on the other hand, was huge. The bed was huge, covering it was a dark red comforter, golden designs making the blanket look beautiful.

The wallpaper was bright and friendly, with dozens of pictures of sunflowers, covering the walls. A small table with a thick silk cloth on top with three chairs around it, both looked rather plush and friendly. Lithuania remembered back when he was independent and he had nice things such as these.

Russia giggled, sending chills down Lithuania's spine.

"Such a loyal Litva! Making AND bringing my dinner even after a punishment." so it wasn't an accident that Russia whipped his face. If this had been anyone else, Lithuania might of took them down.

But Russia terrified Lithuania.

"Hurting my dear little Litva makes me so sad, especially since this time, it was only an accident..." wait, what? Russia approached Lithuania, stroking his long cold fingers over the gash that sliced through Lithuania's lips and half his right cheek.

"It's infected..." Russia's smile grew dark. Russia knew about wounds just as much as Lithuania did, and knew when one was infected, and had to be taken care of.

Such a pity that they did not clean a injury the same way.

"Yes, I know." Was all Lithuania muster to say.

"Let me clean it." Russia moved away from Lithuania, and grabbed a bottle of vodka. Fear took over Lithuania as he panicked and ran to the door, only to find it locked.

"Such a bad little Litva. I thought you learned about what happens when you run away from me. Do you need a reminder?" Russia grabbed Lithuania's wrist, pulling him closer.

"No master, I am very sorry, master." Lithuania was almost proud at how he was able to keep from stuttering.

That ended quickly as the cold, but yet somehow burning hot liquid poured down his face, tearing away the scab that had already formed(due to being immortal) and causing the blood to flow once more. Not for long, although, the vile substance reclosed the wound, promising another horrifying scar.

During all this, Lithuania was biting his now bleeding tongue as to not scream. That always egged this psychotic child Russia on.

"Know that your wound is properly cared for, you shall serve your punishment for attempting to run away." Russia said, almost saddened, as if this hurt him almost as much as his little Litva. Tears poured from Lithuania's eyes, the vodka hurt like hell, and who knew how much his 'punishment' would hurt too.

But all Russia did was secure a small black collar around Lithuania's neck, a small, but rather thick black box hung on it. Russia smiled as Lithuania toyed with it, no clue what the small box was. A lock was placed around the hook and through the hole. Making the collar impossible to take off.

"You may go now." Russia nudged Lithuania away, practically shooing him out. Lithuania didn't think another thought about this and nearly bolted out of the room as soon as his master unlocked it.

Going to the closest mirror, which was one in a hallway, and inspecting the box on the collar. It didn't look like it opened, maybe it was a torture device? If it was, what did it do? Lithuania sighed, he would probably find out soon enough. He pushed the collar down and stuffed it into collar of his shirt, concealing the strange box completely. He went back to the kitchen, and cleaned up the mess he made making Russia's dinner, and grabbing some ice for the bound-to-be-asleep Estonia.

Estonia was surprisingly wide awake, facing the door, and greeted Lithuania as he entered.

"Hey, Liet."

"Hello Estonia, here is some ice." Lithuania was surprised at how hard talking was, moving his lips was painful.

"Thanks" The conversation was extremely awkward. Estonia took the ice, and placed it where the bruises were the worst. Lithuania climbed into bed.

"You're welcome, how are you feeling?" Lithuania said, possibly wondering if the conversation could get even more awkward.

"Fine, I guess. You?" Estonia stared blankly at the ceiling, which was probably a blurry mess.

"My mouth and cheek hurt, but I've had worse."

Nothing else was said, Latvia rolled over in his sleep, silencing the two nations for the rest of the night.

**I promise to update this often! if it takes me longer than a week, Himiwari-chan has permission to hit me on the head (but with no pipe). And if it does take me long, I got my laptop taken :(. This chapter revolves more around Lithuania, the last one Russia, the next one will be Estonia, so on and so forth. I won't do Latvia, I'm a stupid idiot when it comes to him. I'll try to make these longer, I'm just blank on ideas. My thing is, I believe Russia has at least three personalities. One is himself, sane Russia, another is child Russia (his childhood was robbed from him by Tartar and General Winter, so at times he becomes a kid again) and psychotic Russia. When Russia just goes all creepy, violent, and abusive. I actually have a good idea of what to do, but it involves a world meeting! Please Review, or I will feed you to Russia's hounds! :) kidding~!**

**Byez~!**


	3. Estonia's Chapter

**WOOT! Estonia chappie! The information on the box won't be revealed until Lithuania's next chapter. But hints will be given~!**

**Warning: Estonia gets pissy and uses the F word :O**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or whatever I reference to.**

Estonia sighed, his whole figure was sore. Russia was in one of those disturbing moods in which he teetered on the edge of sane and insane, which means he was best to avoid, the other two servants tended to get pretty annoyed of you caused Russia to crack.

How great was it that avoiding Russia was the easiest thing for him to do?

Estonia decided he would go and rake up the fallen leaves from the trees outside. He glanced out the window, and saw Lithuania out there with a heavy green coat on. He looked like he was leaving to go shopping or something. Lithuania was opening the heavy iron fence that was spiked at the top. Estonia always wondered if the spikes were meant to keep intruders out, or Russia's servants in. Estonia headed downstairs, and was pulling on a heavy coat of his own when he heard a sickening scream, and possibly electricity come from outside, and ran outside.

He ran out to Lithuania, who was the only other living creature in this dreadful frozen wasteland. Lithuania was on the ground panting, and clutching something around his neck.

"Lithuania are you-" Lithuania got up, his knees shook. Estonia came closer to help him up, but Lithuania shoved Estonia away, tears in his eyes, and ran into the mansion.

"Aš nekenčiu meistras!" He heard him scream.

"Lithuania?" Estonia stared as Lithuania slammed the door behind him. Estonia looked up at the open gate, and wondered what happened. Estonia shrugged it off, he would find out later. He went to the shed and began raking up leaves, dreadfully bored.

Estonia was the most distant from his brothers (for some reason people considered them brothers, even though they both barely knew each other. Only bonded through enslavement) his language wasn't even similar. (Lithuanian and Latvian are similar, Estonian is more similar to Swedish) This almost made him sad, they were the only people that actually knew what he was going through, and more.

At least Russia beat him the least.

Estonia shook of such thoughts, this was no time to feel depressed about himself! He could try to do whatever he can to make his employer happy!

Estonia paused from his raking. He made a decent size pile, sighing as he looked at all the other leaves that had to be picked up. As he began raking again, he noticed a set of eyes were upon him.

Estonia looked around, but saw nothing, and continued on with his work. He hated working for people, and often wished he was bigger and was stronger so he could have other countries as his underlings. Then he wouldn't have all these dreadful chores that he and the other Baltic's had to do. Besides, what WAS Russia even doing? Sitting in his beautiful throne like office ordering his servants around like they were nothing to him, most likely.

He felt eyes upon him once more.

Estonia turned around, and called out, asking whom was watching him. Receiving no response, he shakily returned to his work, feeling quite paranoid.

Estonia went back to his thoughts, where was he? Bah, he didn't care enough to remember. Maybe if he just focused on his work... He could possibly get praised for such a good job-Er, not that it mattered to him, praise was just nice. That's all.

To be independent, you couldn't expect praise all the time. That's what he wanted more than anything.

_Freedom..._

Estonia laughed bitterly at how impossible that word felt. What did that American always say? Freedom came at a price? Yes, that sounded correct.

But what price would that be, exactly?

Estonia raked the leaves roughly, somewhat angered at NOT knowing something.

Why couldn't he and his brothers be independent. He didn't want to rely on ANYBODY! No one! No one at all!

He didn't want the other nations to look down at him and his brothers as nothing more than slaves to Russia.

Estonia noticed there was no more leaves on the ground.

And he felt those damn eyes on him again

"Who the fuck is out there?" The pissed off Estonian screamed at the wind.

A head poked around the corner, looking rather embarrassed, his face quite red, stood Russia.

"Ya izvinte..." Russia mumbled. Estonia felt like he would die. He just swore at Russia.

_Russia..._

"S-Sir... Is there anything you need?" Estonia forced his voice to stay still.

"Vokrug..." Russia looked at the pile of leaves, and for some reason was bent on only speaking Russian.

"Sir, I have no clue what you're saying." Estonia really didn't.

"I want to play in leaves." Russia quickly said, it was almost incoherent

"Excuse me?" Estonia said, wondering if he heard the Russian wrong.

"I said I want to play, Er- jump in the leaves!" Russia stared at his feet, shifting them nervously.

Estonia chucked with disbelief. Great Mother Russia wanted to go jump and play in some leaves like a child. What, did he think he was one? He wouldn't be surprised if Russia did.

"Is that a no? Litva always lets me play in the leaves when he's done putting them in a pile..." Russia gave a sad face, almost depressed.

"Is that so?" Estonia didn't doubt that Lithuania let Russia do so, even if Russia treated Lithuania poorly, Lithuania would still treat Russia with the highest respect, and like a friend.

"Please! Can I?" Russia practically begged.

Estonia just smiled

"Go right ahead." Estonia motioned for Russia to jump in.

"Really?" Russia didn't wait for confirmation, and dove into the pile of crunchy fall leaves. Giggling with the happiness only a child would have. The leaves flew dramatically into the air, leaving a mess for Estonia to clean up, not that he mined of course. The sheer radiant joy that came off of Russia made him happy.

"Did you see that, Estonia? Did you? Did you? In one jump, I made all the leaves go bye bye!" Olichsno, da? Spasibo, Estonia!" Russia began rambling on, going into Russian that Estonia couldn't possibly understand.

"Yes, yes. Now, let me help you up and you can move so I can re-rake these." Estonia held out a hand, which Russia stared at for a few moments before taking grasp of it, and allowing Estonia to help him to his feet.

Russia smiled as he got to his feet, towering over the man by a good several inches.

"Ah, yes. You do that, Estonia. I have work to attend to anyways" Russia suddenly sounded so mature! Like an actual adult! "T-thank you."

Estonia stared at Russia as he left to attend to whatever.

Russia was a child one moment, then suddenly became a mature adult. Estonia combed his fingers through his hair, not knowing what in Sam's hell just happened.

Is this what Lithuania meant by Russia not being completely right in the head? He figured that Lithuania said that because he didn't want to admit that Russia just beat him for fun, and was an evil man. He never thought that Lithuania actually knew what was wrong with Russia...

Estonia began raking the leaves once more.

**This is about 100 words longer than the other one. Wow, I sure do feel epic *sarcasm*. I bet all of you are wondering what the small box (unless you figured it out, I doubt it though, I was pretty vague.)**

**I'm actually coming up with ideas for this! Ura!**

**Himiwari-chan, I hope you enjoyed the Russia playing in the leaves~!**

**All the translations in Russian are done by yours truly. I think I spelt something wrong but, oh well~!**

**Aš nekenčiu ****meistras****!- Lithuanian: I hate master!**

**Ya izvinte.-Russian: I'm sorry. (izvinte can also be 'excuse me')**

**Vokrug-Russian: I believe this is equvilant to 'um' in English**

**Litva-Russian: I'm sure you know this, but its Lithuania.**

**Olichsno-Russian: I think this is misspelled, but it means 'cool'**

**Da-Russian: Yes**

**Spasibo-Russian: Thanks **

**Google translate was used on the Lithuanian, nothing else.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this! In the next chapter, Russia gets his turn again! Yay! **

**I really do feel bad for leaving out Latvia :( should I have a bit more of Latvia?**

**Spasibo for reading :) Please review!**


	4. Russia's short as hell chapter

**I'm actually scared that Himiwari-chan will hit me if I don't update this. **

**Also, how did you guess what the small box did? I guess I'm not that vague...**

**Thank you for all the favorites~! They make me happy, knowing people like my story and want more.**

**Now, for the Russia chapter. I'll make this as messed up, yet logical as possible. At least, from Russia's point of view, or an insane person.**

**Which means it will make perfect sense to me. XD**

Russia buried his face into his hands. He had so much paper work to do, it was giving his a monstrous headache. He longed to take a drink of his bacon vodka (he was experimenting) but knew if he did, he would just drink the whole damn bottle and go on a drunken rampage and hurt his little Baltic's again.

He stretched, he needed a break and decided to wander. Latvia was hiding under the stairs, which Russia knew, but decided to leave the boy alone.

Russia walked to the window, staring rather bored outside. Litva was opening the iron gate attempting to leave.

Did he tell Litva what the collar's box did? He couldn't remember if he did or not. If he didn't, then Litva was in a world of hurt. Russia chuckled as he heard Litva's agonized scream as he tried to leave the premises.

He refused to allow Litva run away again.

Not that Lithuania actually deserved the collar for trying to flee the room. He didn't understand why Litva WOULD run away. Russia was only trying to clean the cut he accidently made. Then Litva decided to panic and run. He knew Litva didn't like his way of cleaning the wounds (His little Litva had so many, especially on his back. Russia felt horrible about that, when he could remember what he did, at least.) and always let out a annoying scream whenever he was whipped, or cleansed in his delicious Russian water. But what if Litva hated the cleansing so much that he decided to run away and become 'independent' again? Russia hated when Litva did that, he truly hated punishing him for running away.

So he put the collar around Litva's neck so he could never run away again.

So he could never _dream_ of running away again.

Besides if Litva, the strongest of the Baltic's, ran away. Then the others would gather the courage to run away too.

And just could not allow that to happen.

Russia watched Litva run inside, screaming something that he couldn't understand. Probably upset that he was trapped in Russia's premises. Unable to ever leave again.

Why would he want to anyways?

Oh well~! It's not like Litva could do anything about it. Litva should never leave. Litva belonged to HIM. No one else. Litva didn't even belong to himself. If Russia wanted to have his way with Litva right now, he could.

What would he do about it?

Russia giggled. He was happy now. Because even if Latvia and Estonia left him, Litva would always be there with him.

_Forever._

Hmmm, where was Estonia?

Russia looked around his beautiful mansion. Wondering where Estonia was. He decided to go bother the other Baltic, somewhat in hopes he would do something stupid and Russia could relax by hitting him with a pipe.

He glanced out the window, catching a lucky eye of Estonia raking leaves.

Russia wandered outside, staring around the corner, watching him.

Estonia glanced around, and Russia quickly hid behind the corner.

_A small six year old Russia stared out the window. Crisp cold air made golden leaves dance on the ground. The leaves looked absolutely so fun! He longed to go ask Tartar if he could go play in them, but he could practically hear Tartar's voice tell him _

_'No, that damn General Winter will come out and bring that damn frozen hell with him. Now, get out of my sight, you wretched beast.'_

_But maybe if Russia was quiet, he could play in the leaves. Then General Winter wouldn't come and Tartar wouldn't be of the wiser!_

_The leaves really did look fun..._

_Russia decided to break Tartar's rule and go have fun._

_He opened the heavy, dry rotting door. Nearly going to explode from the excitement of playing in the leaves._

_"Where do you think you're going?"_

_Russia let out a small scream as Tartar approached him, his hand raised, prepared to beat Russia for his disobedience._

_And he did._

_The wind began to howl, snow flurrying rapidly in the wind. General Winter was upon them, to torment them._

_Russia cried as he was beat, and General Winter froze those tears to his face._

Russia woke up in the pile of leaves, with Estonia extending a hand. possibly to help him up.

"Ah, yes. You do that Estonia. I have work to attend to anyways." Russia wasn't even sure if that sentence followed whatever Estonia said, but he hoped it did.

Russia left quickly, feeling quite embarrassed at himself.

Whatever work he had to attend to could wait, he wished to speak to Litva.

**Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, and that I didn't update yesterday! I was typing this up the moment I got home, but I never finished it! I have to go to school now, or this would be longer.**

**Please don't hate me.**

**BYEZ~!**


	5. Lithuania's chapter part one

**I love it when the whole day you think it's Thursday. Then when you get home, take off your shoes, open your laptop and turn on YouTube, get ready to type up your fanfiction, then look at the date and realize "Hey! It's Friday!"**

**Disclaimer: I own Hetalia. What'cha gonna do about it? I'm lying. Thought you should know.**

This was always a wonderful time of day for Lithuania, the time where he got to leave this hellhole of a _home_ at get too spend at least a few hours to himself shopping for groceries. He shrugged into his heavy dark green jacket and smiled. He wanted to spend at least an extra hour outside the mansions walls. It was going to get cold soon and he wanted to enjoy the moderately warm weather while it lasted.

The golden leaves that littered the ground danced almost magically in the wind, he loved it. It made his smile wider as his gloved hand grabbed the iron gate and opened the door wide enough so he could slip out.

_Step step step step ste-_

Pain hit him almost the minute he stepped foot outside the gates. Electricity flowed into a god-awful stream, constantly coming and threatened to never stop. It was similar to the short bursts of static electricity he received when Poland figured out he could annoy his friend by dragging his sock footed feet around and poking Lithuania. The only difference between that short burst of pain and the one he was experiencing now was, _this one never stopped coming._

Lithuania did the only thing he could think of, and forced himself to come back behind the fence. Utterly shocked at the device that brought so much pain if you stepped out of the boundaries.

Master Russia had put a shock collar around his neck, and damned him to this mansion forever.

Lithuania didn't even realize he was screaming, his ears rang from that sudden shock he received.

Estonia must have heard the shrieks, and came out running to see what happened. Lithuania's eye welled up with tears, and was glad his brothers inability to see right without his glasses. The collar hung limp on Lithuania's neck as he covered the box part of it with his hand, not knowing if his brother could make any of it out. Lithuania knew he must look pathetic, and he didn't doubt if anyone thought he was. The way Russia could do whatever he wanted to him and Lithuania was too frightened to stop him, made Lithuania ashamed to even look at himself.

All the scars, all the moments of torture, every scream he let out, every moment he begged for forgiveness or mercy that damned Russian refused to grant, he was forced to endure. This made to disgusted with his own body to ever wear short sleeves, or shorts, anything that revealed such. Which made his brothers looks of pity twist Lithuania's stomach with misery.

Sometimes he wished he could just end it all.

"Lithuania, Are yo-" Why do they always pity him?

Can't they just leave him alone?

_Why can't they just leave him alone!_

Lithuania lost it and ran inside, shoving Estonia to the side.

"I hate master!" He heard himself scream, unsure if what he said was in English or not.

He knew that that outburst had pleased Russia, had he heard it. It meant Russia had won this battle, and Lithuania was his property forever.

Running into the room he shared with his 'brothers', slamming the door and then concealing his body under the thick blanket, which was intended to calm him down.

Blankets were always nice, they calmed a person down. Giving a false sense of security that made you feel hidden, away from harm.

He sure hoped Russia wouldn't come after him for slamming the door and committing 'door abuse' or whatever. Russia usually made up weird reasons just to punish Lithuania for really no apparent reason.

If only _(if only.) _he could end it all, and just take his life away.

_If only..._

Ha! What an impossible wish! Russia would find some way (_some damn way.) _to prevent him from killing himself.

Death was a quick escape.

A slave is forced to serve their master for eternity. _(Forever.)_

Lithuania would rather die than be forced to work for Russia for that long.

But he was a nation! He could never die, he knew that. He could try to die, slit open his throat, his wrists and watch as he bled himself to death. But he would only go through the process of death, and awake in Russia's arms, who would just beat him into that state once more and watch as Lithuania's body healed over time once more.

The thing that sickened Lithuania the most?

He just couldn't bring his self to hate Russia.

He tugged at the collar, shoving his thumb underneath it and attempted to summon every ounce of his hatred to bring him too despise the man that did this to him.

Yet the man who caused everything that was wrong with him, Lithuania just couldn't bring himself to hate.

He really was just not that type of person who went around hating people.

He believed some people needed to be locked up, but most needed the love and care that they never received in their childhood.

And he knew Russia was ruled by a man named Tartar when he was young. That man probably never treated that boy with kindness for a single day of his life, the thought of someone abusing a helpless child made Lithuania's stomach churn. He suddenly felt very sick, knowing he depressed himself again to the point of a stomachache.

A knock sounded at his door, and he jumped.

"Ohhh Litvaaaa~ Open up this door."

Lithuania forced himself out of the safety of the covers and slowly opened up the door. He felt small compared to Russia. He _was_ small compared to Russia.

"Good boy." Russia praised. Lithuania whimpered as Russia pet his head.

"Do you need something, master?" Lithuania stared at his feet.

"I'm hungry, and you will make me food, da?" Russia continued to pet Lithuania.

"Yes, master. Would you like anything in specific?" Lithuania forced himself to look Russia in the eyes.

"Make me something good. If you don't, I'll have to punish you~" Russia said with a happy tone. Lithuania never understood how Russia could say something so threatening with the happiest of tones.

"Yes master." he mumbled.

Russia nodded and patted his cheek, causing Lithuania to flinch, and Russia frowned, shoving Lithuania to the ground.

"I'm s-s-sorry."

"Lyuboi." Russia narrowed his eyes and slammed Lithuania's door.

"As atsiprasau."

**This is art 1 of Lithuania's chapter, I left the notebook with Lithuania's chapter at school (Turned it into the teacher as a draft writing assignment because I didn't do a real one. I got epic looks from my teacher.**

**I hope you enjoyed this~ I have to go to a wedding now (Which upsets me, when I could be cosplaying Ciel (Black Butler) while my friend cosplays Sebastian and walk around the mall. :0 )**

**I like this chapter, I feel llike I did a better job.**

**I hope you enjoyed~ Please review, they inspired me to write more~**

**Lyuboi-Russian: Whatever.**

**As atsiprasau-Lithuanian: I'm sorry...**

**Translations done by me. Because I'm way to awesome to use Google translate. **


	6. Lithuania's chapter part two

Lithuania stirred the pot of soup; the gas stove gave a horrible smell, while Lithuania dropped shredded chicken.

Russia had been awfully sick, his communist economy was failing.

_Communism doesn't work, just like America said._

But Russia didn't believe him. He believed his people needed to be ruled, his people believed they needed to be ruled.

But eventually you run out of other people's money.

And now Lithuania had to take care of him.

Ukraine and Belarus already left; Latvia was packed and ready to runaway. It doesn't matter, Russia can't go after him. It was only a matter of time until Estonia left to, and left Lithuania with Russia here, all alone.

There would be absolutely _no one _to stop Russia from doing what he wanted to him.

Lithuania felt his throat close up, and tears of fear slowly come down his cheeks. He dropped the pepper in the soup and gasped; he quickly pulled up his sleep and grabbed the pepper shaker out. He hoped the soup wouldn't upset Russia. When Russia was sick, he tended to get more short-tempered, and could still just as easily beat him.

"Hey." Lithuania jumped at the sound of the voice. He turned around to see Raivis with his bag. Latvia only had one bag; it probably had just his uniform.

They were slaves, the only thing they actually owned were their clothes. They had no possessions.

"You're leaving..." Lithuania stared at him with a sad look. He explained to Latvia why he couldn't leave, he explained the shock collar. Latvia offered to stay, but Lithuania assured him he'd be fine. He didn't Latvia to sacrifice his freedom because he couldn't leave.

"Yep." Latvia looked down, he obviously felt bad about leaving him.

"What are you waiting for? If I were you, I'd leave as soon as I could. But ...You know I can't..." Lithuania looked back at his soup, and continued to stir it, crying silently.

Latvia nodded, and Lithuania flinched as he heard the door slam. He heard Russia screaming upstairs in his room, followed by a fit of coughing. Lithuania tasted the ever so slightly over peppered soup and quickly put a portion of it into a bowl. Russia was going to be in a bad mood for more than one reason now. Now, Russia was sick, Latvia ran away, and if the soup bothered him, Lithuania was sure he would be beat.

He knocked on Russia's door, and went in. Russia was lying in bed, wheezing. Tissues lay scattered about the room, and Russia himself was red in the nose.

"M-master, I-I made you some chicken soup. I-" Lithuania stuttered. He tried not to shake, he did so often now a days.

"It's about time! I shent wou tso makeh meh someh hoursh ahgo." I sent you to make me some hours ago. He said, he was sick and his nose was stuffy.

"I'm s-sorry..." Lithuania shook harder, and Russia sighed when he felt the shaking as Lithuania served his soup.

Russia blew his nose. "Latvia, he left da?"

"D-da..." Lithuania was certain he'd be beat now; Russia needed something to take his anger out on.

"Is Estonia still here?"

"Yes sir, but..."

"But what?"

"I'm sure he'll leave soon..." Lithuania almost chocked on his words, only realizing his mistake after he said them.

"Why are they all leaving? It's almost as if they didn't ever like me... I don't want to be alone..." Russia wiped his burning eyes and blew his nose once more. "But, I no longer have to worry about being here alone, when all it is dead and gone and past, tonight. He will leave me, but you never will."

Lithuania stood back, waiting for Russia to finish, not daring to leave while Russia spoke to him.

"B-but, if I were to free your binds, would you leave too? Litva, would you leave me too? Answer me!" Russia demanded.

Lithuania shook hard. He would leave, of course! But he couldn't tell Russia that, he'd be locked in the basement, and tortured.

"No, master, I would never leave." Lithuania said, almost stoically.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Russia screamed at Lithuania, who yelped as Russia threw the soup at him, the bowl colliding harshly into Lithuania's head. He tried to catch the bowl, but it just fell with a shatter.

"The soup was awful! Made by a horrible LIAR!" Russia shouted. "You disgusting little whore! G-go c-change into..." He began coughing again. "Into... your maid outfit..." Russia held his head; it was obvious his head hurt.

"Y-yes master..." Lithuania held back tears; he didn't want to do his chores in a dress again.

"Don't do up the back of the dress..." Russia mumbled.

"Master! What did I d-do?" Lithuania cried, he knew Russia was going to whip his back again.

"You lied to me, and let my servant leave..." Russia sobbed. "Hurry up!" He threw a book at Lithuania's head again, but this time Lithuania dodged it.

* * *

He shook hard, slowly putting the dress on. He pulled the sleeves over his shoulders, the cold air in his room nipped at the whip scars on his back. He stood in the room he shared with now just Estonia. It was in the coldest, darkest part of the mansion.

The collar around his neck wasn't hidden it hung out in the open. He pulled on the heels Russia loved him wearing so much.

"Lithuania? Is he doing it again...?" Lithuania whirled around to Estonia.

"Yeah..." Lithuania shook.

"What's that around your neck?" Estonia asked he finally got new glasses; Lithuania grabbed the shock collar quickly.

"N-nothing" Lithuania said quickly. But Estonia went up to Lithuania and removed his hand.

"Mr. Russia c-collared you?" Estonia grabbed Lithuania's shoulders. "Brother! Is this why you aren't leaving? We have to get this off you, I can't leave you behind!"

"Please, Eduard, you can't sacrifice your freedom just because I'm trapped here! Please, p-please..." Lithuania sniffled.

"But Toris..."

"Eduard, I could never live with myself if I forced you to lose your chance at freedom..."

"But Lithuania, you deserve this... You don't deserve to be a slave..." Estonia looked down, and let go of Lithuania.

"I'm not a slave, don't call me that." Lithuania sighed.

"Then what are you, Toris? A servant? Don't make me laugh. Look it up in the dictionary. A servant is someone who works willingly, is paid, and has the choice wither to leave or not! A slave is someone who was kidnapped at one point, is forced to do whatever their master says, and are property; they DON'T have a choice in where they live!" Estonia was getting absurdly angry. "A slave is someone who gets beat and raped and can't do anything about because they are a _slave! _Do you not realize when _master_ does these things to you? Do you block it out? You tell me not to call you a slave yet here you are, standing in a maid's dress ready to be whipped!"

By now, Lithuania was crying. Estonia was telling him all the things he refused to believe were true.

"Turn around, let me see your back." Estonia grabbed Lithuania's shoulders, and turned him around. Normally Lithuania would have objected, but he was crying so hard by now, he just let Eduard do as he pleased.

Silence overcame the two.

"Jumal küll..." Estonia said. "He's whipped you so many more times than me..."

"I-if you w-will ex-excuse me. Master wants to see me." Lithuania turned towards Estonia prepared to walk past him.

"Keh, I bet you like what he does to you, up the ass." Estonia chuckled bitterly. He was silenced quickly to a slap to the face.

"You are my younger brother! How dare you say this to me!" Lithuania shouted at Estonia, who was wide eyed and clutching the side of his face. "Don't you fucking realize I do this all for you and Latvia? As long as I'm Russia's bitch, he won't hurt you two! I care more about my brothers than I do my own life! And yet you dare think that I _like _what master does to me? I hate it! I hate Russia! I hate my life! I've tried to commit suicide countless times-you think I like it?"

Estonia looked down at his feet.

"I never realized... I'm so sorry Toris... I didn't know"

"Of course you didn't fucking realize! You think he's raped me? I'm still a virgin! You onl-... Never mind... I'm sorry for snapping." Lithuania crossed his arms.

"No, what I said was out of line." Estonia frowned. "Whatever, go face your punishment." Estonia walked down the hall, away to wherever.

Lithuania went to Russia's room, and knocked on the door.

"Master? May I come in?" Lithuania asked shakily.

"Hmm? Litva? Yeah-" He coughed a few times. "Come in."

Lithuania opened the door with shaky hands.

"Master... I am ready..." He said softly.

"Litva... Why are you in a maid costume?" Russia sat up in his bed.

"Ma-master, you wanted me to wear it so you could...whi- p-punish me." Lithuania quickly reworded his words, trying to make sure he didn't make Russia angry.

"I did? I don't remember... Did you drop the bowl?" Russia raised his eyebrows, and motioned his hand to the bowl and spilled soup.

"Ne. You threw the b-bowl at my head."

"Did I?" Russia scratched his messed up hair. "I'm s-sorry."

"Ne, It's my fault, I peppered it too much."

"Oh..." Russia yawned, "Did... Did Estonia and Latvia leave too?"

"Yes and no, Latvia has left, Estonia is still here."

"What about Tartar?" Russia asked worriedly.

"Huh?" Lithuania looked frightened that Russia was asking about a man that no longer existed.

"I'm sorry, never mind. You may leave."

Lithuania left the room with a sigh of relief.

He was safe for at least another day.

**And that the second part of Lithuania's chapter~ I hope you enjoyed! There is a time gap between parts. Estonia's last chapter is next!**

**Please review~ they make me want to update~**


	7. Estonia

**After the power went out, and my drawing of Toris got fucked up...**

**Trying to get my history accurate, and still making Eduard lucky even though Estonia has a pretty unlucky history...It's kind of hard. So, I'm smashing my head into my bed trying to figure out how to do this without changing the history. So pretty much, since I already fucked up history pretty bad in this, why not fuck it up more :3**

**I do want to say thanks to xShiningStarxx for pointing out a few mistakes. I want them fixed, it's haunting me. Worse than my ghost child Sim that drowned in a pool.**

**1. Estonian isn't similar to Swedish, it's Finnish. This is what I get for speed reading my text books. This might explain why Finland hugged Estonia in that one episode ._.**

**2. The Russian when in which Russia said "Ya izvinte", it should have been "Izvinte menja. after looking it up also, it can be Прошу прощения (Pra-shU pra-schE-ni-ya), or Простите (Pra-stEE-te, from what my tutoring has taught me). I think I said "I excuse me." *face palm***

"Latvia, you are leaving now?"

Latvia slowly turned around to Estonia, and his usually dull violet eyes were lit up and happy. You could tell he was overjoyed to be freed from the frozen wasteland.

"Finally, I am. Are you coming?" Latvia smiled and gripped his small suitcase tighter.

"N-not yet " Estonia adjusted his glasses, glad to finally have them and be able to see again "I'm going to go get Lithuania, go ahead without me" Estonia smiled cheerfully as Latvia gave him a sad smile, as if he knew something he didn't. Estonia gave a questioning look before Latvia bowed his head, and walked away.

A slight tremor shook Estonia's body, he was excited. Freedom used to be but a sweet word on his lips, not something that he would ever be able to achieve. But the Soviet Union failed; Russia ran out of the rich men's money, his blasted Communist nation was falling.

And this was the perfect time to claim his freedom.

Estonia stopped in his tracks as a man's words replayed in his memory

_Freedom comes at a price._

Who said that? America, yes, that's who. B-but, Russia had failed, he was sick and frail. This freedom shouldn't cost anything... It was free!

Besides, he'd give anything for his freedom.

Russia was pulling him down. He's set up so many factories in his country as well as Latvia, it was making him sick. He didn't want these factories there, they were horrible. He wondered why he should care though, he was trapped at Russia's anyways.

But now he was receiving his freedom, and he found no reason to stay. He couldn't wait to return to his home.

Envy rose up in his chest, and he let out a sigh. Lithuania had forests and lakes that prevented Russia for doing any real harm to his country. It still had a lot of its natural history. Estonia grimaced. At least when Lithuania returned to his home country, he would be able to swim in one of his many lakes or lay in a rye field without worry of pollution and its contamination.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Estonia jumped as he heard a crash and a cry of pain.

"What the...?" He was sure Lithuania was suffering from a punishment. The envy left him. He shouldn't be thinking that Lithuania had it better. He knew what Lithuania went through, the beatings and abuse for the stupidest things.

But Lithuania always volunteered. He always asked- no, he near begged to get a whip lashed on him. One time Latvia washed Russia's scarf with one of Ukraine's dresses, and the scarf got dyed a disgusting blue colour, and Russia was furious. He was screaming and swearing, saying the awful things he'd do to Latvia for his foolishness. How he was going to chain him up and rape him. How he would whip him and beat him. Estonia stood back, and was going to let it happen. What was he going to do?

What could he do?

But Lithuania threw himself between Russia and the boy. He begged Russia on his hands and knees, to do that to him instead, and that he'd do the laundry from now on. He didn't offer to just wash the scarf; he offered to add another chore onto his list. Russia silenced himself, then grinned. He grabbed Lithuania's hair, and dragged him down to the basement. Estonia later cleaned the whip lashes on Lithuania's back. The abused man was entirely naked except a bloodied sheet that covered his lower regions. Tears stained his face, and he shook harder than usual. Estonia barely had to guess what happened to him.

Lithuania offered to take any punishment that would be unleashed upon his brothers. He always asked to be taken to the basement, and not his brothers. Not that Estonia, or undoubtedly Latvia, were jealous. They were both quite glad Lithuania always offered his body to Russia, to do with as he pleased. And Russia abused the man's body without care. Estonia himself was abused too, as well as Latvia. But Russia singled out Lithuania the most. He was the obvious favorite. Lithuania's country was the least abused, but the man himself received the most torture.

"The soup was awful! Made by a horrible LIAR!" Russia screamed from his room. "You disgusting little whore! G-go c-change into..." He began coughing hard, Estonia strained his ears to hear the rest of Russia's order, but failed in doing so.

He shivered, wondering what punishment he was facing now.

Estonia wandered, done with his chores. He wandered for quite a while before he decided to go relax in his bedroom, and was quite shocked to see Lithuania in there.

"Lithuania, is he doing it again?" Estonia asked. Recently Russia had found enjoyment with raping, _Lithuania probably enjoyed it, it was sex, _Lithuania while he was in a maid outfit. It was as if he was aroused in cross dressing.

"Yeah..." Lithuania sighed. But on a closer examination, he saw something that made him pale.

He recognized it immediately. But he asked the question anyways, even if he feared the answer.

He bit his lip, and asked.

"What's around your neck?" Lithuania grabbed the collar as if he could hide what Estonia already saw.

"I-it's nothing..." Lithuania mumbled. Was he embarrassed that he was parading around like Russia's whore? A collar around his neck while he and his abusive lover had sex.

But maybe it was rape, and Lithuania just thought of himself as a sex slave.

But then he started piecing things together. Perhaps the collar, in which he could tell was a shock collar, is why Lithuania was unable to leave. Maybe he really did want to leave, but the collar prevented him. He did see a lock on the loop.

"Brother! Is this why you aren't leaving? We have to get this off you, I can't leave you behind!" Estonia cried.

So this was it.

This was the cost of freedom.

His brother's own freedom.

_Freedom comes at a price..._

"Please, Eduard, you can't sacrifice your freedom just because I'm trapped here! Please, p-please..." Lithuania sniffed. He crossed his arms, tears threatened to spill.

"But Toris..." Estonia looked Lithuania in the eyes. He realized this was indeed the cost of freedom.

Even if Lithuania never realized it himself.

"Eduard, I could never live with myself if I forced you to lose your chance at freedom..."

"But Lithuania, you deserve this... You don't deserve to be a slave..." Estonia looked away from his brothers eyes. Lithuania really didn't. He was such a kind person, and he didn't deserve to be abused like he is. Even if he seemed to be a masochist.

"I'm not a slave, don't call me that."

"Then what are you, Toris? A servant? Don't make me laugh. Look it up in the dictionary. A servant is someone who works willingly, is paid, and has the choice weither to leave or not! A slave is someone who was kidnapped at one point, is forced to do whatever their master says, and are property; they DON'T have a choice in where they live!"

Estonia threw his arms in the air. He was shouting loud enough to sound angry and yet quiet enough to not alert Russia. "A slave is someone who gets beat and raped and can't do anything about because they are a _slave! _Do you not realize when _master_ does these things to you? Do you block it out? You tell me not to call you a slave yet here you are, standing in a maid's dress ready to be whipped!"

Lithuania had tears run down his face. He was shaking and crying. Estonia didn't mean to sound cruel, but he had to say these things.

"Turn around, let me see your back." Estonia grabbed Lithuania's shoulders, and turned him around. Normally Lithuania would have objected, but he was crying so hard by now from realizing the truth, he just let Estonia examine the one part of his body that was the main target of Russia's abuse.

Silence filled the cold dark spaces.

"My god..." Estonia said. "He's whipped you so many more times than me..." Estonia traced his hands on some of the scars, Lithuania pulled away.

"I-if you w-will ex-excuse me. Master wants to see me." Lithuania turned towards Estonia prepared to walk past him. He shook while he walked, his words stuttered badly.

Anger built up in Estonia, he was always recognized as having more of a temper then the other Baltics. Which was weird, because he really didn't have that bad of a temper.

You couldn't have much of a temper while being around a man who isn't afraid to beat you till you wish you were dead.

"Keh, I bet you like what he does to you, up the ass." Estonia let out a dry laugh, his thoughts spilled from his mind in the form of words.

He was shocked at his normally passive brother slapped him across the face. Rage burned in Lithuania's eyes, the blue lakes turning hard, as if ice had suddenly frozen them.

"You are my younger brother! How dare you say this to me!" Lithuania shouted at Estonia, who was wide eyed and clutching the side of his face. Lithuania never raised his voice at anybody, much less one of his younger brothers.

"Don't you fucking realize I do this all for you and Latvia? As long as I'm Russia's bitch, he won't hurt you two! I care more about my brothers than I do my own life! And yet you dare think that I _like _what master does to me? I hate it! I hate Russia! I hate my life! I've tried to commit suicide countless times-you think I like it?" He started mumbling, and Estonia wondered iif his brother even realized he said it.

"I'm too scared to kill myself and leave you to deal with him..." Lithuania's eyes became the beautiful blue lakes again.

Estonia realized his mistake now. He didn't think of the fact that Lithuania really doesn't enjoy what Russia does, he never thought Lithuania would do such for him... He felt guilty, and couldn't look Lithuania in the eye. He choose to stare at his feet.

"I never realized... I'm so sorry Toris... I didn't know" Was all Estonia could muster to say.

"Of course you didn't fucking realize! What-you think he's raped me? I'm still a virgin, dumbass! You onl-... Never mind... I'm sorry for snapping." Lithuania crossed his arms, embarrassed for yelling so suddenly.

Estonia was so embarrassed, he didn't know what to say, and was ashamed to what he said.

"No, what I said was out of line. Whatever, go face your punishment." Estonia walked away, going into his room as Lithuania walked down in heels towards Russia.

He was so ashamed, he never thought Lithuania took the abuse and pain so they wouldn't have to. Lithuania threw himself at Russia, not because he wanted what Russia did to him, because he didn't want his brother's to receive the pain he does.

He opened the drawers that the Baltic's shared. He grabbed his other uniform and put it in a suitcase. He sighed at his possessions, and how little it was. He understood he was a servant and all, but if he received anything, from Finland or another friend, Russia would just take it away, saying that he had to be a good boy in order to receive such nice things.

Estonia closed the suitcase, and walked down the hall. He saw Lithuania once he reached the staircase. Lithuania didn't even bother to hide the shock collar. He staggered down the hallway, unbalanced in his heels.

He didn't even look him in the eye, he just walked down the hall, shaking.

And Estonia didn't know what else to do but leave.

**Hope you enjoyed~**

**Review's really DO keep the sun away! It's been raining here soooooo much.**

**Sadly it's still warm ._. I need to move somewhere cold.**


	8. Russia's sad little chapter

_Russia hurried, moving quickly in order to not anger Tatar. The man was gravely ill, and Russia secretly prayed he would just go away and die. But he hurried nonetheless in order to make Borsch for Tatar, because the man ordered him to. Russia didn't want to take the chance of Tatar suddenly getting better and beating him for not attempting to make him better._

_So he tried to make the Borsch, but he was young, and small. He barely reached the cast iron pot in which he stirred the beet soup over a small pathetic fire._

_But a small child could be clumsy, especially near a fire. He lost his balance on the wooden crate he stood on and fell. He gripped the cast iron pot, crying from pain due to the hot iron and pushing away. The pot lost its balance on the hook that held it up and spilt the insides all over the small boy, who screamed and went into the far corner of the kitchen away from the steaming hot Borsch. He began shaking and sobbing. He was wet and he made a huge mess. He was certain Tatar heard him and would come down to punish him for messing up so badly._

_He waited, pondering on all the possible things Tatar might do to him this time. He used his legs to push himself tightly into the corner, hoping to blend into the wall. He heard movement upstairs, and jumped. But after what seemed like an eternity, nothing happened. Russia grabbed a wooden bowl and took what didn't spill on the dirty floor from the iron pot and put it into the bowl. _

_There wasn't enough for himself, and Russia wiped his eyes. Sad that he would go another day without food. He wasn't allowed to take food, or make things if he didn't give most of it to Tatar, if not all._

_Russia knocked on Tatar's door. Tatar was actually Mongolia, but Russia was being raised by him, and Tatar was easier to call him. Mongolia enforced his rule over Russia's people, and was thus known as Tatar, and Russia being the Tatar Yoke._

_"You little bastard. What took you so long?" Tatar said to Russia, who inwardly flinched at the verbal abuse._

_"I-I'm sorry, Tatar..." Russia handed him the bowl of soup. The pain from his burned hands was becoming too much to handle, and prayed Tatar would take the bowl soon._

_"Why are you wet, boy?" He grabbed the bowl and began drinking the soup._

_"I-I..." Russia was afraid to tell him._

_Tatar glared at him. "Tell me, you piece of shit. You didn't go swimming in the lake after I told you not to, did you?" Russia instantly chose to tell the truth._

_"N-no! I spilt the soup on myself..." Russia stuttered, he was always scared of him._

_"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Tatar finished the soup, and smashed the bowl on the boys head. Letting go as soon as he made contact. Russia quickly caught the bowl, and took hold of the bowl, wincing at the pain. Saddened there wasn't even a morsel that he could have._

_Russia ran from the room, mumbling to himself. _

_"When I grow up, I'll become big and strong. Stronger than Tatar! And I will never treat my underlings like he treats me. I will be a nice person. Who's big...and strong... and a good friend. And that other nation I met... Lithuania was it? I'll make sure to befriend him, and protect him forever and ever!" Russia smiled at his promise to himself._

_Russia got a dirty rag, and started cleaning up the spilled Borsht, he was sad, at all the perfectly good food that had gone to waste. He couldn't eat it, despite how hungry he was . The floor had mold growing on it in several places, and if he got sick, Tatar would expect him to work just as hard as he usually did. If not harder, because he was foolish enough to get sick._

_But wiping up the now cold soup hurt, just as bad as it would have if the soup was still hot. His hands still seared with pain as he wrung the rag out into the pot, planning to later dump the remainder outside. _

_He held the rag in front of himself, then looked at his clothes, then at the rag again._

_He noticed he could find no difference between his dirt-stained rags that he used as clothes between the rag._

_He thought of how nice Lithuania's coat was. A rich green with furs around the collar, nice straps that held it shut. And such a cute little doggy! He deserved nice things too...right?_

_He finally got all of the soup of the floor He poured it outside, where it froze almost as quick as it touched the ground. He paused for a moment, and looked at his hands. They were red, burnt, and his skin was peeling; Russia shivered as he brought the heavy pot back inside._

_Tatar stood there, Russia screamed._

_"You little piece of shit! Why are you dumping food, you wasteful thing! Are you trying to starve me?" Tatar didn;t care that Russia was starving, and he knew he was. He was more concerned about himself. "I ought to teach a wretch like you a lesson.. Come here!" Tatar reached for Russia who jumped and ran. He knew it was a foolish mistake to run, but he had to get away. His whole body still hurt from the last time Tatar beat him._

_He ran throughout the mansion. Tatar had such nice things, but he never cared for them, so things rusted and molded. Russia was supposed to take care of things like that, but you can't expect a seven year old to clean such a large home._

_Russia flung himself under a bed, a rat scurried out from his sudden intrusion. He lay there, shaking in fear for what Tatar would do once he found him._

_After what seemed like forever, but was only a few moments, Tatar slammed the door open, coughing and wheezing. He glanced around the room, and began to walk around._

_Russia heard a dreaded 'Caw! Caw!' and he realized what room he was in._

_Tatar had a bird, a rare one that cawed whenever someone besides Tatar entered the room. With the bird cawing now, he was alerting Tatar that Russia was indeed in the room._

_Tatar chuckled darkly. "Come out now, you little bitch, and I won't whip you as long this time." Russia recognized this as a obvious lie, and remained under the bed._

_Russia shivered as he heard Tatar's footsteps, who flung open the closet, growling when he didn't find Russia in there. He paced back and forth in the room, and Russia knew he did this just to frighten him. _

_Tatar walked slowly to the bed, and gripped the bottom of the covers, moving slowly, just to frighten the child._

_He flung up the covers, and reached underneath the bed sharply, grabbing the small child and-_

"NYET!" Russia awake with a jolt. He found his face wet from crying. He wondered what happened while he was asleep.

He barely had to guess. He looked around the room, and saw a bowl, chicken soup spilt out of it.

Russia rubbed his head, his head hurt. He recognized he had the symptoms of a cold.

They last thing he remembered before he blacked out was Latvia slamming the door, leaving Russia's union of friends he hoped he could have held onto forever.

He was sad that he wasn't able to keep his friends.

He was even more sad at the fact they wanted to leave him so bad...

Russia barely knew why...

Russia jumped at the sound of knocking at his door. _Tatar..._

"Master? May I come in?" Russia smiled as he recognized the voice to be Lithuania's. Although he always hated being called a _master_, because he thought of Lithuania as a friend. Even if Lithuania only recognized himself as a slave to Russia. Russia knew he thought this, but he didn't say anything in worry his friend would be angry, or hurt.

"Hmm? Lithuania? Yeah-" A sudden cough made him interrupt his sentence "Come in." He finished.

Russia forced himself to bite his lip to keep from crying with shock as Lithuania entered in a maids dress and heels. Russia more noticeably saw that the back wasn't done up.

"Master... I am ready..." He said quietly, a tone Russia himself used when he addressed Tatar so long ago..

Ready for what?

But another question Russia had to ask came out before Russia pieced the soup bowl and Lithuania in the maid dress together.

"Lithuania... Why are you in a maid costume?" Russia forced himself up, worry in his face showed.

"Ma-master, you wanted me to wear it so you could...whi- p-punish me." Whip him? Why would he want to do that? More importantly, why would he want to whip him while in a maid dress? What did Lithuania do to deserve punishment?

"I did? I don't remember... Did you drop the bowl?" Russia asked, trying so hard to figure out why he would need to punish his friend by whipping his back.

"Ne. You threw the b-bowl at my head." Lithuania stuttered slightly. Russia remembered the dream he woke up from, wondering if that might have something to do with his actions towards his favorite Baltic.

"Did I?" Russia scratched his messed up hair. Guilt made his stomach hurt. "I'm s-sorry."

"Ne, It's my fault, I peppered it too much." Lithuania tried to take the blame, but even Russia knew that was no good reason to be hit with a bowl.

"Oh..." Russia yawned, he recalled Latvia leaving. "Did... Did Estonia and Latvia leave too?" He wondered if they left together.

"Yes and no, Latvia has left, Estonia is still here." But Russia doubted Estonia would stay for long...

Tatar was here, wasn't he? Oh no! If he was sick and laying around, Tatar might box his ears. He nearly got up out of bed before deciding to ask Lithuania.

"What about Tatar?" But as soon as the words left his mouth, he mentally slapped himself. If Lithuania was here, serving him, then Tatar no longer held rule over him. Russia was no longer the weak Tatar Yoke.

Lithuania, however, looked terrified. He stared at Russia with a look that mixed between confusion and horror.

"W-what?" Lithuania stuttered.

"N-never mind." Russia quickly said, embarrassed at his mistake. "You may leave..." He knew Lithuania wouldn't leave unless ordered to, showing how loyal he was. Even if it was by force.

Lithuania looked all to happy to leave, and Russia dodn't doubt he was.

Who would ever love Great Mother Russia?

No one.

And Russia never expected people to.

**I wrote this entirely with my glasses upside down. So I hope it's good.**

**I'm rather proud how easy it is for me to come up with abusive things Tatar can do to Russia.**

**Review~! They make me smile and say "That person is awesome. Awesome like Prussia"**

**Happy early Independence Day,(That's Fourth of July for you silly dumbnuts)Americans~ For you non-Americans, so you even do something on the Fourth? Like, laugh at us and call us dumbasses from afar? **

**I'd do that if I was non-American...**

**My country tis of thee... Sweet land of liberty...Of thee I sing...**

**One of my choir songs consists of these lyrics I can't sing without laughing.**

_**America, America,**_

_**Can I tell you how I feel?**_

_**You have given us many riches**_

_**We love you so...**_

**How can you NOT laugh at that? **


	9. Lithuania

**To answer Vanya Heart's question, in case someone wondered something similar, yes, Russia knows he whipped Lithuania's face, and he knows he hurts the Baltic's. **

**Russia, the way I write him, has three personalities.**

**One, being the perfectly sane Russia, he knows he hurt the Baltic's, but he doesn't know to what degree he abused them. Thus why seeing Lithuania ready to be whipped in a maids dress startled Russia.**

**Two, the Russia that borders on sane and insane (like the Russia in chapter 4) you can usually tell it's him because in the text, he will always call Lithuania 'Litva'. When in this state, Russia is more likely to fall into one of his flashbacks, and can remember certain stuff that sane Russia cannot.**

**Three, this Russia is unpredictable, and will do things that either Tatar did to him as a child (Usually to Lithuania) or re-act moments of his childhood while the sane part of him remembers what really happened (Estonia's confusion on why Russia was a child one moment, then a adult a moment later. In Russia's mind, he remembered a part of his childhood he supressed while in reality he was playing in the leaves.)**

**Does that clear up any confusion?**

**Enjoy Lithuania's chapter. Review!**

Even if it had been a month after the fall of the Soviet Union, Lithuania still belonged to Russia. And the man continued to confuse Lithuania. He would go to happy, to sad, to angry, to just plain psychotic, and then be absolutely normal.

It scared Lithuania, not knowing how to act to prevent receiving punishment. Russia felt a lot better and was watching Lithuania while he cooked, or cleaned. Constantly being watched made Lithuania feel nauseous. One slip up, and Russia was right there to see it.

But the day was over, and Lithuania's time for rest had come. But the time wasn't as pleasant as it used to be. He missed the extra warmth his brothers provided. He missed the reassurance that he wasn't alone in a cold dark room.

Most importantly, that he wasn't alone in his enslavement.

But he told his brothers to go! He didn't want to make them stay, and lose their chance freedom because he couldn't leave. If he did that, he would probably die from the guilt.

Dying sounded pretty good right about now.

He folded into himself for warmth, the blanket was thin and the room was cold. The cold metal of the shock collar was of no help, it just made him colder.

Thoughts on everything he would have to do tomorrow invade his mind. He had to take over the other Baltics jobs when the left, he had more work than ever.

He really wanted a day just to relax, but he knew that day would never come. He was just a work horse for Russia to use until he could work no longer. And once that day came, who knows what Russia would do to him. What if he was sent to Siberia? That sounded horrible. Lots of his people, but more of Estonia's and Latvia's people were sent there and were never heard of again...

Russia's screaming jolted him to being fully awake. Lithuania would have gone to see what was wrong, but the door was locked from the outside. Meaning Russia had to unlock it every morning. Russia tended to wake up before Lithuania anyways. Lithuania figured that the door locking from the outside was to prevent him from running in the middle of the night.

Lithuania began to panic and glanced around his room in order to hide, for he heard Russia's footsteps growing closer. He couldn't fit under the bed, and other than that, there was no place to hide... The only other thing in the room, besides the bed was a dresser.

Russia fumbled with the lock outside Lithuania's bedroom and Lithuania let out a yelp. He began shaking as he stayed huddled under his blanket.

Russia threw the door open with such force that the top hinge came off. A bottle of vodka in his right hand showed Lithuania that the man was drunk. A twisted look on Russia's face caused Lithuania to cower beneath his blanket.

"Idite syuda." Russia's words slurred together, Lithuania had trouble telling if he was speaking Russian or English...or what.

When Lithuania didn't do anything, Russia staggered over to Lithuania, and ripped him out of bed by his hair. Lithuania's face flushed with embarrassment. Seeing that he wore nothing but his boxers. Seeming to have misplaced (in a manner he could not recall) his pajamas.

"The Soviet Union... Will not fall..." Russia growled, and continued to drag Lithuania until they reached the stables. He opened the door and threw Lithuania inside. The man winced with pain, his back still being sore from how abused it was.

Lithuania tried to force himself to his feet. He wasn't sure why he was torn from his bed so late at night, or what he had done to deserve such treatment. But he figured it was just Russia being drunk.

Lithuania glanced around, shivering at the coldness in the room. He heard a fire going, and snapped his neck in the direction. He saw Russia tending to something in the fire. Russia looked and Lithuania, tears stained the tall man's face, a sick, twisted grin caused the air around him to turn almost dark.

"Lay down, Litva. On your stomach." Russia ordered, and Lithuania expected to be whipped, but obeyed nonetheless. He knew there was a worse punishment for not obeying his master.

Lithuania lay there, expecting the leather to make contact with his already marred back.

But he received something quite different, which was given on his right shoulder blade. Lithuania scream echoed throughout the stables, and he didn't doubt through the house as well. Not that there was anyone inside to hear it.

Hot iron burned his flesh, melting it into the shaped the iron was formed. From the way the print felt once Russia removed the branding iron, it was the mark of the Soviet Union.

"The Soviet Union will thrive! I WILL NOT FALL!... But even if I do, we will both never forget what went down..." Russia said to the wind, and threw the hot iron of somewhere into the room. Lithuania tears for once didn't fall. He just let out pained gasps. Russia was the one sobbing. Mumbling on how he will not fall. It's not too late. He will thrive. He later went into denial, saying he never needed them, he'll be fine. He began choking on his sobs as Lithuania forced himself to his feet, his eyes still wide at the pain he just received.

Lithuania looked at Russia, who didn't seem to notice him stand and chose to leave. Lithuania staggered to the living room, and took one of the many chairs in there. He picked it up and carried it to his room.

He placed the chair in his room, and shut the door, which was loose from the force Russia opened it earlier with, locking it before hand from the outside. He took the chair, and shoved it under the handle. The brand on his shoulder blade seared with pain as he once more wrapped himself under the blankets.

And finally just cried.

**I think I just enjoy tormenting these two...**

**Now this Russia was not in any mental state I described above. If you want me to say he was, he was most likely in his third state. But he was also reeaaaally drunk. There will be a Russia memory during that time though.**

**Idite sudya-Russian: Come here.**


	10. Russia and Tatar mostly

_Hiccup..._

_HICCUP~_

_Russia giggled. He could not stop giggling, or hiccupping for that matter._

_He was curious why Tatar drank all that awful smelling vodka, and he finally figured it out._

_The stuff tasted delicious~_

_He knew he really shouldn't have, but he was so damn curious on why Tatar drank all the Russian vodka, I mean, he might be eight, but his people still made vodka, so the kid still owned some. But Russia himself had never tried it; Tatar always took it from him and drank it._

_He felt ...what's the word?_ _Пьяный?_

_Yes. Drunk. That's how he felt! Every nerve of him felt relaxed, and he had eaten recently, for Tatar was nice enough to give him food... even if it was for the first time in a week... But the food eased him, allowing something to soak up the vodka in his stomach. _

_He was almost certain Tatar would be furious for him drinking his vodka, but right now, he really didn't care. His aching body from the work Tatar put him through was eased, like he actually slept in a real bed for once, and his muscles were soothed from all the labor he did._

_He had to work harder now, that he was older, and was surprisingly tall for his age, topping five feet at only eight. And now he could reach higher things, and was stronger._

_Which meant if Tatar was angry, he could get away with beating him harder and not risking the boys working abilities._

_But even with his system shutting down with drowsiness, he had this sudden idea...of revenge towards the man who abused him all these years, which is not something a young boy should think of, even if he was drunk. _

_Yes, that would be a great idea! He felt so...strong. Did vodka make you stronger? Russia giggled, maybe it did! He drank a lot of it too._

_Tatar was in the room that represented a living room, minus countless piles of crap that Tatar horded._

_"Tatar..." Russia's words slurred together. He looked around the room, and grabbed a makeshift weapon._

_A pipe, which lay leaned up against a wall._

_"Russia, what do you want?" Tatar growled, glaring at the boy, turning from his position in order to face the tall child._

_Fear showed in his eyes as Russia dropped the pipe onto Tatar's figure, whom was barely taller than him now._

_Russia laughed. Oh how FUN this was! This...THING had caused him so much pain, and tormented him for nearly four years. It was fun to finally show this creature what it meant to be Russian... his Russian Revenge._

_Repeatedly, at a constant rate he brought that pipe down on Tatar, who cried with pain, his eyes wet with fear._

_"You don't like this treatment? Hehehehehe~ Imagine how I felt when you hurt me so many times... So many times..." Russia's body froze as he lowered his pipe. He looked down at Tatar, who was bleeding. The blood... so beautiful. He wanted to create more, make more flow out of the awful man's body. _

_Laughter, but it wasn't any laughter that the tall child generated._

_It was psychotic laughter._

_"You're blood is pretty, da? Da? DA? DADADADADADADA? I'm so GLAD I got this opportunity to thank you for all the KINDNESS you've treated me to over the years! Aren't you glad too? Aren't you? TELL ME YOU ARE!" Russia screamed at the man. He smashed his pipe down once more onto Tatar's body, who cried out pathetically from the blow. Russia brought the pipe to his face and smiled, wiping a pit of Tatar's blood away from it._

_"You're a horrible and disgusting man, who should have never been born. You treat me, A CHILD! Like you do... So helpless, I was... I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" Russia screamed, kicking Tatar, who by now had fallen to the ground in a heap, moaning in a pool of his own blood._

_A twisted grin came on the child's face. "I will forever hold a smile upon my face, thinking on this moment I free myself of you." The child smiled, as Tatar glared and spat in Russia's face, which was just blood, and Russia grinned sadistically. _

_"Silly little kitty..." Russia grinned as he struck a strong blow to Tatar's skull, a sickening crack would have sent shivers down a sane man's spine._

_But Russia was no longer sane..._

_Or was he yet a man._

_He kicked Tatar- no, Mongolia, in the gut, and established the he had not killed the man, he was only unconscious._

_Not that Russia would have cared if he killed the man or not. The awful man deserved to die._

_But something stopped Russia from leaving that moment. Something caught his eye._

_A scarf._

_Now, he had a scarf. Rags the he gathered over the years, making sure they were a similar colour to each other, stitching the rags together in a form of a makeshift scarf to keep away the bitter cold of his country. But the scarf he saw was the one his big sister gave him so long ago. He wanted it back, for Mongolia took the scarf saying these words._

_'You must be a good boy in order to receive nice things.'_

_But he was a good boy now, right? Kolkolkol. He 'took care of' his biggest problem like all the big kid nations did! He grabbed the scarf, and some vodka that stood next to it. He already drank a whole bottle, and he wanted more for later! He would be going outside, and it was awfully cold. The vodka would warm him up, no?_

_Russia tore off the scarf made of rags, and tossed it on a heap on the floor. He no longer wanted such a disgusting piece of fabric. It would only bring him bad memories. He took the scarf big sister gave him, and wrapped it around his neck, burying his face into the soft, woolen fabric. The scarf reminded him of home, and he planned to go there._

_Shoving the vodka in his coat pocket, he grinned, noticing how he was all nice and pretty covered in Mongolia's blood. _

_But before going back home, the one Ta-Mongolia tore him from so long ago, he wanted to go to that one nation, whom he promised to befriend so long ago. He felt like one of the big adults now, no longer a child._

_He aged thirteen years that day, and was nearly grew a foot._

_He was free from Tatar, at long last. He and his people were free._

_And he wanted more, and more. The 'more' he never received. _

_He wanted Lithuania._

_And he would make him work for him, YES! That's what he'll do. He was big and strong now, even if he still harbored the mind of a child, he wanted someone to do what HE said for once._

_If he had to go through years of abuse and labor, why shouldn't his new...friend do the same for him?_

_KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKO-_

Russia woke up from his dream, wondering what brought it on. Glancing around the room, which appeared to be the stables, he noticed a bottle of vodka in his left hand. Suspecting immediately that he got drunk.

Day was breaking, and the sun made his head throb. Standing up, and nearly losing his balance, something caught his eye.

a burnt out fire, and a branding iron on the other side of the room. The fire recently died, from the way smoke still raised off the ashes. He walked over to the branding iron, and picked it up. The iron was cold, but he found something on the metal that made him shake in fear.

Flesh, burnt flesh peeled off the branding iron. Feeling no pain on his own body, he pieced together what happened.

He branded his friend...

He was no better than a slave master now. Guilt made his body shake. He threw the branding iron on the ground, and fled the stables. Slamming the door open hard, and running up the stairs, and going to Lithuania's door.

He unlocked the door, god knows why the lock was on the outside, and thrust it open. He shook as Lithuania screamed in a way that can only be described as fear.

But the door did not open how Russia had hoped, the door was blocked. By what, he couldn't tell. He was only able to open the door a few inches.

"Lithuania! Please! Open the do-" He was cut off.

"No!" He cried, Russia peeked in, and saw Lithuania was trembling trying to cover his body with his blanket. Tears fell out of the man's eyes.

"Lithuania... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Forgive me, please, PLEASE!" Russia screamed. Lithuania jumped, his words causing him to grip the blankets tightly.

"Go away!" Lithuania's voice shook, and his lip trembled. The light, in which he could barely make out, was the redness on his right shoulder, the mark from the branding affecting the entire area.

Russia just couldn't understand why he has yet to leave him like everyone else...

Russia slammed the door shut, then reopened it with such force the chair broke on its back two legs and the door flew off its hinges, falling to the ground with a thud.

"Don't tell me to go away!" Russia stormed into the room, grabbing Lithuania's arm and yanking him out of bed for the second time that day. He took Lithuania and turned him around, trying to get a good look at the brand.

His eyes widened, expecting to see a red brand mark the pale skin of the brunette. Shock overcame him with all the scars and sickening bruises that littered the small man's back. The fact that _he_ did all this to Toris...back... he wanted to die from the shame. No wonder Lithuania was so afraid of him. Russia...he...he never imagined he did this to Lithuania... So many times he was whipped, hit with his pipe, and finally branded...

He was really no better than Tatar now.

"I'm so sorry... I don't know how you go on with your day like- what's this?" Russia grabbed the shock collar sharply, releasing it all to quickly once he realized he choked Lithuania.

"Is this why you haven't left yet? Because you'll be electrocuted? I-I..." Russia put his hands on Lithuania's shoulders his back still to him. The brunette was shaking as Russia lowered his lips to the brand, placing them upon the wound. He knew his lips were cold, as were the rest of his body. He was so cold...always, it seemed. And in summer, it was barely warm... and so muggy.

Lithuania flinched, Russia could feel the him jerk hard. Guilt washed up inside the violet eyed man, knowing he was the cause of Lithuania being a nervous wreck all of the time

Russia's breathing became heavy as he removed his lips.

"I'm sorry..." Russia pushed Lithuania away, forgetting his own strength and ending up shoving him. Russia shook harder now and fled the room, running as fast as he could, as if that would lead him away his problems. He finally stopped and fell to his knees. He covered his face with his hands, sobbing. He was such a awful person, he didn't know he did these things...

He wished he could take every mark on Lithuania's back away.

He knew he couldn't.

**I'm ending the chapter there! Let me explain some stuff.**

**The pipe thing, THAT IS NOT HOW RUSSIA AQUIRED HIS PIPE. He got his pipe from Germany's when he visited. Go read the webcomic.**

**So, yeah. I wrote Russia's breaking point. Where he became insane.**

**He also matured greatly after beating up Mongolia, where he had the mind of a child, but the body of an adult.**

**Even if he became insane.**

**And that person that reviewed as Guest, my laptop automatically fixes word like 'Baltics' to 'Baltic's'. I'm sorry that bothered you, I'll try to stop it.**

**Starting now.**

**Hehehehe.**

**I am so MEAN to these two...**

**And I know I have my history wrong, just go with it, OkAy? I'm ReAlLY NoT onE TO cARe!**

**YoU WiLL NoT esCApE~**

**Neeky-chan/Spain will get that...**

**Himiwari-chan/Russia, I didn't get Russia all beat up this time! Are you not happy? Did you like all the pictures of Mongolia I spammed your email with?**

**I'm such a nice person.**

**_Пьяный_-Russian: Drunk**

**Review!**


	11. Oh, General Winter

**I want to say this because it's hilarious. The answer to a crossword puzzle today was 'Tatar'.**

_Lithuania I'm so sorry..._

Russia refused to let Lithuania do any anything, even though Lithuania near begged him. Not until his body was fully healed. The brunette was just much too precious to the Russian, he wanted to show he cared for Lithuania, he didn't want to become like Tatar.

The mark of the Soviet Union that was forever burned on Lithuania's back... He put burn cream on it, trying to sooth the pain. When he did it the first time, he could sense his little Lithuania was terrified. Not that Russia blamed him, the man's back was covered in new and old wounds, and he worked so hard everyday... only to get beat later if he messed up, probably sometimes he never messed up at all, the insane Russia just would beat him for fun.

The tall Russian man was finishing making Blini, and was just about to bring Lithuania some when he heard a voice.

"_Oh Russia, how great it is to see you again" _The voice made Russia quake with fear, dropping the plate of sourdough pancakes.

"General Winter... What do you want?" Russia glared at the icy man who had invited himself into Russia's home.

"Oh, nothing at all, I'm here to help you again." The man's words wore like ice, like his flesh, always shifting, make it hard for Russia to focus on the words or the man.

"I don't need yo-"

"But, no my boy, you do." He grinned wickedly.

"NO I DON'T!" He shouted.

"SILENCE!" General Winter then lowered back to his lower voice. "You're memories, you conquered Tatar in your mind once more."

"Once more? No, this is the first time I have done it..." Russia looked at the Blini on the ground.

"Oh my boy, that is where you are wrong. You keep them suppressed; they're are awful, terrible ones that you don't need to remember."

"What are you talking about?" Russia began picking up the Blini and shattered glass.

"The memories, boy! Do you not follow? Once you conquered them, I am to reset them! I have to go through this explanation every time... You can't handle the truth, you will become a monster, I- you know what, just come here." General Winter made his way to Russia, who began to back away.

"No! Stay away! I can handle this just fine! I don't want to hurt Lithuania!" Russia cried.

"That is a small price to pay, you must do this!" General Winter was on top of Russia in a second, placing his cold hands on Russia's head and chanting what sounded like incantations.

"NO!" Russia screamed, before slowly starting to sob. Moments later, General Winter removed his hand and stood up.

"My work here is done." General Winter said, before stepping into the bitter cold that Russia lived in.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE?" Russia screamed, but he knew Winter was no longer there, his words going on nonexistent ears.

The memories he conquered, the abusive he received, disappeared. It was sort of nice not to have those god awful memories bearing down on him all the time.

He sighed, he would have to relive them again? Did that mean he would beat Litva- uh, Lithuania again?

But maybe really Litva _did _deserve the punishments-

NO! Why would he think that Lithuania, not Litva, deserved being whipped for no reason?

_But Litva can be so...incompetent a lot of the time, he deserved being beat._

Teehee... You're are absolutely right~

"Ohhh Litvaaaaa~" Russia sang. The man had done nothing _the whole morning_! He dropped the broken glass and Blini on the floor, Litva coming in a moment later.

"Yes?" He shook softly. Did being called Litva unnerve him? Well the stupid man would have to live with it. Saying LithUAnia was soooooo hard, requiring a 'W' he was unable to say.

"Clean this up, da?" Russia grinned at the brunette, who nodded and slowly made his way in front of Russia. He bent over, and began picking up the mess.

Did Litva just make that mess? Oh, he should be punished no? Russia giggled as he kicked Lithuania, causing him to lose his balance and fall over, the glass piercing his skin. Lithuania whimpered, but said nothing. He was used to this.

Litva, so foolish you are. He was really so much luckier than Russia himself. He was warmer... so much warmer. He looks so empty, and Russia didn't know why! He really should be grateful for coming from such a warm environment. The whole reason he drank so much was to keep his insides warm...

"Don't worry Litva, I forgive you for breaking that plate" Russia giggled at Lithuania's confused expression. "After all, I wouldn't want you to want to leave me, not that you can. Anything is better than to be alone..." Russia helped Lithuania up by grabbing on his hair and yanking up.

"We're moving." Russia said quickly.

"What?" Lithuania asked once Russia released his hair, cradling his hand.

"The Soviet Union has fallen; I can no longer afford this house. I will remove the shock collar, and replace it with a leather one, with a lock and tags. I wouldn't want my sweet little Litva to get lost~" He said, ruffling Litva's hair.

"Y-yes master..." Litva looked down, is he unhappy? He didn't want Litva to be unhappy!

"Smile." He ordered, smacking Litva across the face. Litva forced a fake smile, but refused to look Russia in the eyes.

"W-where w-w-will we b-be st-staying then?" Litva said with his fake smile.

"We will be staying at a hotel for the time being." Russia said. "I will remove the collar you have on once we leave, I wouldn't want you to escape." Russia stroked Litva's cheek and-

_'Who are you? No, I don't want to go with you! Let me stay with my sisters! No! LEAVE ME ALONE!... Please stop hitting, Tatar was it? I'll do what you say, I promise. Please, sir...You're hurting me. I guess I have no other choice, I will go with you Tatar...'_

"R-Russia? Are you okay?" Litva asked, worry written all over his face. "You just started shaking and mumbling..."

Russia stared at Litva, backing away from him, and running away.

**I know this one is short, and not a Lithuania chapter, but I just wanted to write this, needed for the next Lithuania chapter. I hope you enjoyed~**

**YoU cAn'T HanDle tHE TrUtH!**

**Had to make that refrence.**


	12. Himiwari chan, please don't read this

**I give rights to a (now)frenemy, we were roleplaying and Lithuania recalled this happening to him.**

**Vanya, Neeky, and Himawari, you all know where this ends.**

**I looked this up, boxer briefs came out in 1990. So my history is accurate here.**

**Anyone else notice I have yet to go out with a full out whipping?**

**Enjoy~**

"Are you packed, Litva?" Russia asked, Lithuania nodded, even though he held nothing in his hands.

"Litva, Then go get your stuff."

"I own nothing master, except the clothes on my back... I'm not even sure if I own that either..." Lithuania mumbled, Russia just nodded. Lithuania picked up Russia's bags, and followed behind him obediently.

They walked to the front gate, and Russia removed the leash and collar. Lithuania was silent, he was feeling absolutely miserable. He wanted to be free like the other two Baltics, but Russia was so possessive over him, freedom was just a silly far away dream. Russia dropped the shock collar in the snow, and replaced it with a leather one, locking it in the same way he did with the shock collar.

He hooked the leash on the collar once more. "I'll take it off once we get into Moscow. I don't want anyone to be suspicious."

The walk into town was a long and hard one for Lithuania. The cold was unbearable and he was carrying Russia's heavy bags. Once they got into town, Russia took a bag, and locked his free arm with Lithuania's once removing the leash.

The Russians stared at the two walking through town, and Lithuania feared getting shot. He knew they must have looked like a gay couple, and the Russians tended not to appreciate that. Russia realized they were being scowled at, and quickly pulled Lithuania along into a rather nice hotel. Russia checked in and pulled his servant along. Lithuania stayed silent the whole time, not wanting to say anything that would upset his master.

As soon as they entered the room, Russia dropped his bag and went into the restroom. Lithuania went and picked up the bag, and began placing Russia's clothes in the dresser, hanging up several long coats and scarves. Once he was done, he sat in an uncomfortable chair. He noted there was only one brass bed, and figured he would have to sleep on the floor.

He spun his head around to the sound of panting, and thumping. It sounded as if Russia collapsed. Lithuania went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Master? A-are you okay?" Lithuania knocked on the door franticly.

"Tatar...no... I'm ...NO! What are you doing to me! Give me back my pants! Tatar! Nyet! UKHUDI, NYET!" Russia screamed from inside the bathroom. Realization that Russia was having a flashback made the branding on his shoulder blade sear up, and he backed away from the door. Lithuania chose to hide, afraid of what his master would do to him. He opened the closet doors and shoved himself into a corner, whimpering as he slammed his back into the wall.

"Litva~ You _shouldn't _hide from me... It's not smart." Russia hissed as he opened the bathroom door. "We're going to have some fun together, eat, and then have _more _fun." He said, then giggling. Lithuania shivered, Russia's idea of 'fun' was always painful if he wasn't sane.

Russia found him all too quickly, grabbing his hair and throwing him out of the closet. He landed with a hard thump, quickly getting into a sitting position and attempting to break from Russia's reach, failing instantly as Russia grabbed the man's collar, choking him and forcing him to stay. He yanked upwards, forcing Lithuania to get to his feet. He then threw Lithuania on the bed, and dropped his long trench coat and took off his shoes.

"What the hell are you doing?" He let out a sharp gasp as Russia stripped the thrashing Lithuania of his boots, jacket, tie, and shirt.

"Litva~ Hold still-"

"I WLL NOT HOLD STILL! What are you doing to me?" Lithuania breathing became panicked as Russia locked the smaller mans frame between his big boned legs. Russia removed his scarf, and Lithuania knew he was serious. He tied the middle of the scarf around both of Lithuania's hands, using the ends to tie it to the metal bars of the brass bed, Lithuania lying on his stomach.

The sound of cloth falling to the ground caused Lithuania to twist his head around and look at Russia, who had tossed has pants and shirt on the ground. Lithuania felt Russia's cold hands touch his waist, slowly making his way down to his pants, unhooking his belt and taking his pants and boxer briefs off.

"Give me back my pants!" Lithuania twisted his body around and kicked Russia in the gut, yanking on the scarf, trying to break free. He figured what Russia was trying to do with him, and he wouldn't allow him to take his virginity without somewhat of a fight, not that he could stop the man if he wanted.

Russia backed down, wincing at the pain. His violet eyes then lit up with fury, and he grabbed Lithuania's belt. He folded it up, taking the buckle and striking his chest with all his strength, which was more than usual, insane people had an almost disgusting amount of strength. Lithuania finally screamed, the metal slicing into his unmarked chest, blood splattering Russia and the sheets. Russia used his hand and smothered most the scream, tears choosing to spill from the brunettes eyes instead.

"Please...Master...Ivan...n-no..." Lithuania's voice pleaded for Russia to stop, and the man's sadistic grin showed as he dropped Lithuania's now bloodied belt on the ground.

He allowed his body to fall limp as Russia flipped him over. He didn't bother to open Lithuania up; he just thrust himself, hard, into the brunette. Lithuania smothered his face, screaming from the pain. This was not how he should have lost his virginity, to rape. Tears burned his eyes, and he dug his nails into the sheets. He refused to acknowledge the man _inside _of him; he just leveled his breathing, hoping it would hurt less if he didn't move.

Russia's cold hands touched Lithuania's bloodied chest, rubbing his hands up and down, all the way down.

"Litva's hard, da? Do you like this?" Russia giggled as Lithuania stayed silent. This was awful, but he couldn't help say that it felt somewhat good, but he didn't want this. Not like this.

Russia moved up and down, and it began to hurt a lot. He placed his hand on the branding of the Soviet Union on Lithuania's back and pressed down hard. Lithuania cried from the pain, he could feel his own blood from Russia tearing into him leak out, and drip on the sheets. The room was so dark, it being rather late now, and that just made the scene all the more terrifying.

_'That's it; you really are nothing more than Russia's whore now. A filthy sex slave, exactly what Estonia thought of you...'_

Lithuania cried out as Russia pulled himself out, placing his hand on the branding to help push himself out. Lithuania knew he did it just to cause more pain than he already was. He untied the scarf from Lithuania's hands and shoved him out of the bed, Lithuania groaning with pain as he hit the floor. He didn't realize how bad he was shaking until he touched the cold hard wood floor. Russia buried himself under his blankets as Lithuania shivered. The brunette decided to get up and put his clothes on for warmth, but once he moved, his body exploded with pain. His entire body being sore.

He forced himself to curl into the fetal position for warmth, his body crying for something soft or warm. Slowly moving his hand underneath the leather collar, it was the only thing he wore.

Russia had officially taken everything from him. First his freedom, than his rights and freewill, and finally his virginity and manhood.

He cried silently until five in the morning, when Russia woke up. He sat up and the tears began to flow harder, he said they would _play_ later again... Lithuania realized how heavy his breathing was getting.

"Lithuania? Are you in here?" Russia asked, but Lithuania refused to make words, completely unable. Russia rolled over and turned on the lamp. "Why am I covered in blood, and naked...! Oh god, Lithuania!" He looked over the edge and let out a sharp gasp at the bloodied and naked brunette.

"Oh my god, what did I do?" Russia climbed out of bed and went to Lithuania. Lithuania moved for the first time, pushing himself up and moving away from Russia.

"I raped you... didn't I? Just like Tatar..." Russia cried. He grabbed his trench coat and pulled it over his shoulders.

"Lithuania, let me help you up," Russia made his to Lithuania, ignoring how hard he flinched.

Russia carried Lithuania to the shower, helping him stand up. He turned on the shower, as Lithuania stood there shaking. He pulled the curtain over him and left. The brunette stood there, the cold water eventually turning hot. The water burned every part of his body; the gashed on his chest made by the belt, the branding and whip scars on his back. His legs shook before they finally gave out from under him. He began sobbing, which seemed impossible with how much he cried earlier. His sobbing was loud, and he knew Russia could hear it. He began choking on his sobs and the water, starting to hiccup and shake. The collar was soaking wet, and the scar on his face itched and burned, despite the fact it was barely visible now, luckily healing to the point it wasn't visible

He sat in there, sobbing, for what was probably an hour before he turned off the shower after cleaning himself. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. He dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his lower regions. He was about to step out when he glanced in the mirror.

He didn't recognize who he saw; it was most definitely not him. The man he saw was pale, sick looking. His eyes were red while his sockets were hollowed and dark. His hair was lifeless and sad; it was as if he was on drugs.

But stepping back from the mirror slightly, the belt marks on his chest spelt something. Using the Cyrillic he knew, and reading it backwards...

'_Иван_'

'Ivan.'

He stared at the mirror, in horror of what his body had become, nothing more than a canvas to the Russian man. Something that could heal up, and be scarred again.

_"Look at you, you're nothing now. So great you were, back in the days of your commonwealth, now you're nothing. You are a disgrace to your people, a shame, and an outcast to everyone around you." _The person in the mirror grinned sadistically. _"You don't deserve to live. You should just die. You're a sex toy, nobody cares about you. Just die, kill yourself, DIE AND-"_

He grabbed the first thing he saw, a hair dryer, and smashed the mirror.

**This is probably the most fucked up thing I ever written.**

**I planned this since chapter six, I hoped you enjoyed~ ._.**

**Ukhudi-Russian: Go away**

**Nyet-Russian: No.**

**I hope to the goddess Himiwari-chan didn't read this ._.**


	13. Russia has a trauma

**I REAAAAALLY did not want to go into detail on this one, so I didn't.**

**If it feels rushed, halfway through the chapter I smashed my thumb, so I was hurrying because the pain is fucking killing me.**

**Did I reference Vanya's story? Yes. Yes I did. Because I'm retarded and only know a few spice/flower names.**

A whole new adventure was going to be happening! Russia never lived outside his mansion, and since the Soviet Union fell, he couldn't afford the house any longer. He had his little Litva with him and now everything will be alright.

"Are you packed, Litva?" Russia asked cheerfully, yet slightly confused. Did Litva think he was not coming? Litva then nodded, but that made the whole scene more confusing! Where was his stuff?

Surely he had stuff...

"Litva, Then go get your stuff." He ordered, getting slightly annoyed.

"I own nothing master, except the clothes on my back... I'm not even sure if I own that either..." Lithuania mumbled, sanity coming back for a moment, and guilt washed over him.

_I shouldn't be doing this._

_Da, you should be. You're better than him; you can do what you want._

Lithuania picked up Russia's bags, and followed behind him obediently.

They walked to the front gate, and Russia removed the leash and collar. Lithuania looked sad to lose the collar, who knew he liked it so much! It's a good thing the Russian man got him leather one, with a special little lock so he couldn't take it off. Now little Litva will always belong to him~. Russia dropped the shock collar in the snow, he really didn't need, or want it anymore, and replaced it with a leather one, locking it in the same way he did with the shock collar.

He hooked the leash on the collar once more. Litva was an untrustworthy little bastard, and he might try and run away.

"I'll take it off once we get into Moscow. I don't want anyone to be suspicious."

Ah...the world seemed to be getting shifty... Russia rubbed his eyes, unable to keep his focus, his head pounding, and voices even he knew weren't there called out to him. He got to the hotel as fast as he could, and ran to the bathroom, certain he was to puke.

His head was pounding and the world was spinning. He was unsure of what was causing all of this. Russia's knees shook and he fell to his knees.

_Tatar lunged at him, grabbing the boy by his frayed jackets collar and dragged him away. Russia began kicking and screaming, trying to pull away. He was terrified, what was Tatar going to do to him?_

_"Don't worry, you little whore, __we're just __**going to have some fun together, eat, and then have **__**more **__**fun...**_**" **_More fun? That thought was unpleasant. Tatar rarely fed him, and if he did, it was scraps from his meal._

_The larger man threw the boy to the ground after getting kick for the umpteenth time. He dug his long dirty nails into the top of Russia's hands, making the boy cry in pain and stop his kicking. The boy cried out, he was only five, the pain was multiplied. Tatar dug his nails deeper, dragging them along the soft flesh of his hand, creating long, gruesome scratch marks._

_"Don't KICK me!" Tatar screamed into the boys face, Russia winced, the man's breath stunk. The boy stopped kicking and looked at the ground, crying softly. Tatar grabbed the boys wounded hand tightly and continued to drag him along._

_They approached Tatar's room, which at that time was Russia's room too, for he slept in a closet on the ground with dirty rags as a cushion or when it was really cold, using all of it as a blanket. He expected to get locked in his 'room' for some reason or another; he wasn't entirely sure what Tatar was so angry about._

_What made him incredibly surprised when Tatar threw Russia's tiny body on top of his soft mattress. Russia crawled to the far side of the bed, pushing against the wall, shaking. Tatar removed his vest and top. Revealing that he wore a jumpsuit that had very baggy pants. Russia cried out, not knowing what the frightening man had in store for him. What form of abuse requires for the abuser to strip?_

_Tartar slipped almost dramatically out of his jumpsuit, showing he was rather chiseled. His chest was hairy along with his underarms, a-as well as his, um, lower regions...Which seemed to be sticking straight up... Russia wondered what that meant._

_He was surprised as the man grabbed Russia's legs and tore off his rather delicate and thin pants. Tossing the ruined pants into the fireplace in the room. Russia covered himself with his hands and screamed. He wasn't sure why, he knew no one could hear him... _

_For a moment, a sharp pain hit his stomach. It was as if he saw through Tatar's eyes. But he didn't see himself under Tatar's body, he saw a man he had never seen before. A Brunette man that looked scared out of his wits. He then switched back to his original point of view._

_Tatar threw Russia on his stomach and..._

_Raped him._

_Once he was done having his way with the boy, he held the Russia close to his bare chest. The boy whimpered and cried, but silencing himself as Tatar gripped his hair. After a few short moments, Tatar's breath leveled his breathing, showing the sign that he fell asleep._

_Russia didn't like what Tatar did to him. It hurt, a lot. Tatar said it would be fun, but he most defiantly did not find it fun. He slipped from Tatar's sweaty grip, and sat by the fire, for he was covered in cold sweat. His rump hurt and it felt sticky. He wiped it, and found it was covered in his blood and this weird sticky white substense. Looking into the fire, his pants were burned beyond saving. He pulled down his shirt and tried to cover himself up the best he could. His legs were bruised badly around his regions. He shivered badly, and put his hands close to the fire. He felt what Tatar did to him was...wrong. It wasn't right. _

_He wasn't stupid, what Tatar did was what a man and women do to when they love each other. Tatar forced himself into Russia, and he wasn't...clean down there either._

_"Russia..." Tatar mumbled, waking up slowly. He sat up and pulled on his jumpsuit and vest, not bothering with his shirt or doing up the suit all the way. He stood over the boy, who shook while trying to warm his hands. Tatar grabbed one of those scratched up hands and pulled him from the room, Russia didn't protest, and allowed himself to be dragged away._

_Tatar pulled the child into the kitchen. Russia kept pulling down at his shirt, hating the fact he was showing. His trench coat was tattered and ruined; all the buttons were gone and lost._

_Tatar grabbed some frozen meat from the ice box and put it over a cast iron grill over the fireplace. He began cooking the meat, putting Coriander on it. Once he was done, he cut it in half, and put what Russia guessed to be Feverfew on his piece. Russia gulped, and his mouth watered. Momentarily forgetting he had an allergy to Feverfew, it made him sick. He was about to say something, but chose to stay silent. He was really so hungry..._

_Tatar was such a good cook, he was the only reason Russia knew how to cook himself. Russia tore off a piece with his hands, the meat melted in his mouth. He never knew how Tatar cooked like this but it was always such a treat to get his food. This was the second time he ever received such savory delight. He tried to ignore his stomach churning and eat the meal without throwing up. _

_The Feverfew was designed to make him sick and caused him to get in trouble. _

_He stopped eating, clutching his stomach. He ran out of the room and outside, throwing up the meat, becoming instantly hungry once more._

_"I-I'm sorry..." Russia muttered, becoming aware of the man behind him._

_"Such a shame, a waste of meat." Feverfew made him throw up, Tatar knew that. "I wanted you to have your energy for when we 'play' again... Eat it." Tatar grinned._

_"W-what?" Russia looked up at Tatar, who kicked him into the snow._

_"Eat your fucking vomit." Tatar ordered, crossing his arms and glared down at the boy. Russia sat bare bottom in the snow, freezing badly. He looked down at the sickening substance that was quickly freezing... and slowly stuck his hand into the base and brought a handful of it to his lips and forced himself to eat it. He began crying, ashamed that he was being forced to do this._

_'Maybe I should cry for help...' Russia pondered as he stuck his hand back in his own vomit._

_"You sick little bastard, you're actually eating it! How disgusting. I don't want to play anymore. Go to your closet, now." Russia quickly wiped his hand in the snow and sprinted inside. He ran to the closet as fast as he could and buried himself under the dirty rags. His legs especially cold. If he stayed out any longer, he would have gotten frostbite. He grabbed his lower regions and rubbed them frantically, his manhood was so cold it hurt all over._

_He grabbed several pieces of the rags and began to tie them together, fashioning them as shorts, trying to cover himself up..._

Russia groaned. He always hated that memory. When he was that age, he didn't understand that Tatar raped him. He opened his eyes and looked at the hotel ceiling. He glanced at the clock, noting it was five in the morning.

'That's right; I came here with Lithuania...'

"Lithuania? Are you in here?"

Where is Lithuania? Russia leaned over and turned on the lamp. He was overcome with shock seeing how he was covered in blood and sweat...and naked.

"Oh god, Lithuania!" He looked over the edge and let out a sharp gasp at the bloodied and naked brunette.

"Oh my god, what did I do?" Russia climbed out of bed and went to Lithuania. Lithuania shoved himself away, moving quickly, despite the fact Russia knew he was in a lot of pain. A look of terror showed on his face and tears spilt down.

"I raped you... didn't I? Just like Tatar..." Russia cried. He grabbed his trench coat and pulled it over his shoulders. Tears spilt out of his eyes... He was really just like Tatar...

"Lithuania, let me help you up," Russia made his to Lithuania, his heart broke when Lithuania flinched and shoved him. Russia still grabbed the man and helped him to his feet. The brunette's legs were shaking so badly, that Russia had to practically carry him. He helped him into the shower, started it and closed the curtain to keep from making a mess. Russia laid out a towel and left the room.

"So that's who I saw when Tatar was raping me..." Russia said to himself. Guilt washed over him as he heard sobbing. He probably would have cried more over what Tatar did to him had he not been so young. Lithuania, on the other hand, understood the process and what happened to him. Russia didn't doubt it was the man's first time too, the way he was crying...

The violet eyed man looked at all the blood on the sheets. His stomach churned... he felt broken inside.

"Oh god... Lithuania I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I-I didn't mean it!" Russia cried to himself, leaning against a wall and pounding his fist on it harder and harder. He closed his eyes and allowed hot tears to spill down his cold cheeks. Lithuania's sobs became harder and Russia stopped hitting the wall, drywall dusted his hands white. The man sunk to his knees, burying his face in his hands.

"Hey." Russia heard a high pitched voice, a Russian one. Looking up, he saw something that caused him to widen his eyes.

"W-who are you?" Russia asked. The boy grinned, he was rather young, and several of his teeth were missing.

"Silly kitty~ I'm you!" The boy giggled, burying his face in his ragged scarf. Russia's eyes widened at how small the boy was. How dirty, beat up, and ragged he was. "A figment of your imagination..."

"What do you want little me?" Russia wiped his eyes. The small Russia, the Tatar Yoke, frowned.

"You're so stupid~ Because of what Tatar did to us when we were younger, it caused us trauma, and we became...um...insane! Yes, that's it. You're hurting Toris because our young mind couldn't handle what Tatar did to us." Tatar Yoke held his hands close to his heart and grinned.

"If you let Toris go free, then we won't hurt him any longer-"

"NYET! NONONONONO!" Russia sobbed. "I don't want to be alone! I don't have to listen to a child like you-" Russia was silenced with a blow to his face.

"Who is _really _being the child here? You, or _me?_" The boy sneered. Russia put his hand up to his cheek. A small red hand appeared on Tatar Yoke's cheek, showing how much of one they were.

"Let Toris go." Tatar Yoke continued. "Then go to Mongolia, and forgive him."

"How can you say that? I will never forgive that man for as long as I live!" Russia rose to his feet, reminding Tatar Yoke who the adult was. The boy looked down at his feet, chuckling bitterly.

"Fine. Abuse Toris until he hates you... he probably already does. _The first step to sanity is forgiveness." _Tatar Yoke looked at the bathroom door. "He's muttering to himself..."

Tatar Yoke was right; Lithuania stopped the shower and began muttering to himself. His words were incoherent and fast. Probably in his native language. But the words were getting harsher and louder. Finally, Russia heard a shatter of glass and a scream.

"Lithuania!" Russia ran to the door and rapped on the hard wood. The door was slowly pulled open by a shaking brunette. Russia shivered at the leather collar that was fastened around his neck. Lithuania shook at the sight of the bed he was... raped in. Russia quickly went across the room and grabbed Lithuania's clothes. He grabbed his belt and froze at the sight of dried blood. He looked at Lithuania in horror as he saw scattered marks across the brunettes shaking chest. It looked as if it spelt something, but he wasn't sure. It was rather off.

He walked across the hotel room and handed Lithuania his clothes. The latter took the clothes slowly and slipped his white shirt over his chest, which was quite possibly infected. He buttoned up the shirt slowly before dropping the towel. Russia winced at the bruises around the brunette's dick, choosing quickly to look away out of respect.

"I'm sorry..." Russia said, with sincerity. He didn't expect Lithuania to forgive. He didn't want Lithuania to forgive him. The blue eyes mane pulled on his pants and buttoned them up. Hanging his tie lazily around his neck, not bothering to tuck in his shirt.

"Lithuania, are you hungry? Tired? Is there anything you want or need? Please, tell me!" Russia cried. Lithuania's eyes were red and puffy. He just shook his head slowly and went across the room to sit in a rather uncomfortable looking chair. His boy was still wet and caused his shirt to become see-through. Russia winced as he saw the branding on Lithuania's back. The said man sat with his legs spread, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. Continuing to mutter to himself.

"Lithuania? A-are you okay?" He asked, honestly concerned for the man. He just shook, before laughing. He seemed refusing to talk to anyone but himself. His laughter got louder and louder, causing Russia to take a step back in horror. What was _wrong _with Lithuania?

The laughter quickly became more and more psychotic. Russia finally ran across the room and grabbed the laughing man, covering his mouth and silencing him.

"Lithuania! Stop laughing!" Russia cried. Lithuania silenced himself quickly, before falling asleep in Russia's tight, panicked embrace.

**Is it weird this story was originally a parody?**

**I don't like writing penis...**


	14. Unwell

**Albert seriously wanted me to do this... I found it humorous.**

After Lithuania woke up, he noticed he was in the bed Russia and he had sex in. He chose not to move, the ceiling becoming fascinating to him. He knew Russia was in the room, sitting on that comfortable chair.

Watching him.

Staring at him.

It was simply cute~ He seemed so...worried for some reason! Lithuania just couldn't place why he was so distraught. Was it because he started laughing? That's because this person, Albert, promised to protect him always. Albert was so devious looking, red eyes, insane rainbow hair... He enjoyed lurking in his shadows.

"Lithuania." Albert addressed him.

"Yes?"

"You should get some sleep." Albert chuckled with a thick Russian accent, worse than Russia's himself. "Something will happen. Be prepared." He continued, before looking up and glaring at Russia. It seemed he hated the man, and Lithuania couldn't place why. Russia was always so nice. Sure he could be a little rough at times, but he means well! He loved Lithuania... and Lithuania loved him! No matter what Russia did, he would always love him.

"But my master looks so sad, and I can't place why. I should comfort him-"

"No! Go to sleep, fag." Albert snapped, bloody red eyes looking like they would send daggers through Lithuania's heart. Albert promised to protect him... so he must know best. Lithuania rolled over, away from Albert's dark corner, facing his master. The brunettes lips turned upwards, creating a smile towards the handsome man in a scarf.

"Disgusting faggot. You deserve to die. Unworthy to bear the name _Lietuva. _Here." Albert dropped a knife by Lithuania's face. "Kill yourself. I want to watch you die." He's only known Albert for a short while, and he was so cruel. Lithuania wished he would go away. He felt sick to his stomach, tears threatened to fall.

_'I don't want to kill myself...'_

_**'I know you don't. But nobody wants you alive.'**_

Lithuania brought his hand up to his cheek, noticing it was wet. He brought his hand to level with his eyes, screaming at the sight of a dark red, instead of glistening clear water.

"Lithuania!" Russia shot up from his chair. He ran to the screaming man. "What's wrong?!"

"Blood! There's blood on my hands!" He cried, looking up into Russia's beautiful gemstone-like eyes. Tears themselves formed in Russia's eyes.

"Lithuania... there is no blood on your hands." He said, turning around. Russia wore a simple dress shirt and black pants, the shirt itself had three buttons undone, exposing his chest ever so slightly.

"It's all my fault... I never deserved to be your friend-" The Russian man continued. " What I've done to you... it has corrupted your mind."

"Friend? Ne, we are more than friends, right? I don't just want to be your 'friend'. Do you not consider me your lover?" Lithuania sat upright, before slipping from the bloodied bed. He adorned one of Russia's long shirts as pajamas, the neck hole slipping off his right shoulder in a rather slutty fashion.

"L-Lithuania! You can't possibly think that! I raped you!" Russia backed away as Lithuania attempted to lean against Russia, who backed into the kitchen

"It's only rape if you didn't enjoy it." Lithuania cornered the man. He was playing hard to get, the brunette recognized that glint in the man's eyes.

"I said go to bed! He doesn't care for you. Just look at him. He fears you. He thinks you're insane!" He heard the Albert's voice scream.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALBERT!" Lithuania screamed. He reached into one of the drawers and grabbed a sharp butchers knife. Russia's body tensed up and Lithuania threw the knife at Albert. The man easily dodged it though.

"Hold s-still, Lithuania."

"Yes, my master." Lithuania's blue eyes returned to Russia's own.

_Click. _

The lock on the collar fell into Russia's grip, who then pocketed it. He undid the collar, pocketing it also. Finally, he hugged Lithuania. The embrace was warm and well deserved. Lithuania hugged the tall man back. He kissed his masters neck, feeling goose bumps running down his naturally cold skin. Russia placed a soft kiss on the brunette's cheek.

"I'm freeing you. You are no longer my slave." He said, voice clear and stoic. He then walked into his closet, and stuffed his belongings into his suitcase.

Lithuania froze up. No. If he was free, then he couldn't be with his master anymore.

"Ne! I want to be with you forever and ever! Don't let me be alone! I love you!" He cried. Russia froze up, then grinned.

"Y-you love me?" Then he sneered. "Nyet. Liar. You are crazy, Litva. Insane. Just like me." He grabbed his stuff, and left. Slamming the door behind him.

"Ne! R-Russia! Master!" Lithuania ran out the door, watching as Russia got on the elevator. A look of sadness crossed the violet eyed man, before he looked away.

"I won't hurt you again." He said softly.

"Don't leave me here alone! I'm not crazy!" The door shut, along with Russia.

"See. He never cared for you. He hates you." Albert grinned. It was like he enjoyed mocking him.

"Ne... I'm not crazy, I-I'm just not feeling like myself of late! I know he can't tell right now... He must not be feeling well himself. But if he stayed a little longer, then he'll see... I'm fine. Why am I telling you this, Albert? I know you don't care... Neither does Russia. No one cares about me... I really am nothing..." Lithuania sobbed.

"Just like I said." Albert's eyes looked cruel

"Just like you said."

"There you go, Litva. Now, let us return to our home in Lithuania. Russia never cared for you, he hated you."

"He was just rough... I thought... It was out of love. Fine... let's get on the train. I'm not tired, I don't need to sleep like you said." Lithuania rubbed his eyes.

* * *

Lithuania got a train pass, and boarded the train, feeling awkward not carrying any bags unlike so many others.

"Hey, Albert, why _don't _I have any bags?" Lithuania asked, sitting down next to the window, Albert sitting across from him.

"Because as a slave, your _master_ refused to let you have nice things. That's why your only other outfit was a maids dress. To degrade you further."

"But master would never do something like that..." Lithuania muttered. Albert burst out laughing.

"You bloody fool! Of course he would! He hated you, remember? Or have I been wrong before?" Albert said cruelly. "People are staring..." Albert then added, narrowing his eyes at a man and his daughter, who then gasped and backed away.

Whispers came onto the train, inaudible, and soft. Both men that sat on the train, knew they were about him.

"A-Albert... Are they talking about us?" Lithuania asked, noticing that everyone was as far away from the duo as possible.

Lithuania sensed there was something wrong with him... Hours passed, and people seemed to get off the train as fast as they could, or got as far away from him as possible. Several looked like they called the police.

That instant, Lithuania remembered how Russia was always treated.

_'Somehow...I've lost my mind...'_

**Yeah, well, this chapter might make more sense when I put it from Russia's PoV.**

**If you get what song this refers to, you win a cookie. If I know you in real life, I'll spike some cookies and give them to you.**

**So, yeah. This is what Lithuania sees. A different sort of insanity. Russia changes his mood and mind set, switching into the past as somewhat of a defense system. Lithuania created someone entirely out of fear. Someone who wasn't afraid of Russia, and hated him(Because Lithuania seems to be incapable of hatred.), to hide his own trauma of being raped.**

**Okay, I'm done now. Enjoy~**


	15. Ulaaaaanbaaaataaaaar!

**I keep referencing to Vanya Hearts story (._\\)**

**I made up an OC family. WHAT OF IT?!**

**Russia's so mature in this chapter...**

**Ulaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanbaaaaaaaa aaaaaaataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar~! (Such a funny capitol name.)**

Lithuania continued to whisper, chuckle and scream. Russia couldn't place what was wrong with his friend... He kept staring into this dark corner that Russia couldn't place why it was so _menacing._

Lithuania began mumbling, incoherently and not in English, or Lithuanian. It sounded as if he spoke in Russian. He began growling under his breath, he then turned over, and stared at Russia. A grin came across his face, as if it expressed passion.

Lust.

It reminded him of Tatar's fascination with Coriander. And the man's fascination with Russia himself. He hated people loving him too much. Fascinated with him. It all just reminded him of Tatar. Since the Tatar Yoke exposed himself to Russia, the violet eyed man couldn't help but not _stop _thinking about that awful Mongolian who tormented him...

He was so confused... Things didn't seem right. Memories were coming back, but memories shouldn't be forgotten...unless he had a reason to suppress them.

Tears began to flow down Lithuania's eyes, as if he remembered more things about his _rape._ Russia's stomach twisted into a knot, he can't believe he raped his friend. His _slave. _

Lithuania brought a hand up to his cheek, looking at the glistening, salty tears. A slight amount of hysteria, giggling in a demented way, before letting out a piercing screech.

What was Lithuania seeing? Worry came over Russia and he shot out of his chair, running to his friend, who stared at his hands, shaking and screaming.

"Lithuania! Are you alright?" Russia asked, placing a worried hand on Lithuania's shoulder.

"Blood! There's blood on my hands!" He cried, staring with the look of horror, begging for help, _fear._

"Lithuania... there is no blood on your hands." Was all Russia could say, before turning sadly around, walking into the kitchen-like room, and covering his face with his hands, letting out a choked sob.

"It's all my fault... I never deserved to be your friend-" He forced himself to continue. "What I've done to you... it has corrupted your mind."

"Friend? Ne, we are more than friends, right? I don't just want to be your 'friend'. Do you not consider me your lover?" Lithuania rose from the that god-awful bed. He slowly placed his soft, bare feet on the cold wooden floor, and walked over to Russia. Russia's shirt leaning off Lithuania's porcelain shoulders.

"L-Lithuania! You can't possibly think that! I raped you!" Russia backed up as Lithuania made his way into the kitchen, leaning up against cabinets as a failed escape.

"It's only rape if you didn't enjoy it." The man's blue eyes hinted oncoming harm as his features expressed passion.

"Я сказал, лечь в постель... Он не заботится о вас... Только посмотрите на него... Он боится вас... Он думает, что ты с ума..." Lithuania then said with a cruel expression.

_**'I said go to bed... He doesn't care for you... Just look at him... He fears you... He thinks you're insane...'**_

_Lithuania isn't insane..._

Lithuania's expression then changed to one of anger and hatred. He reached into a drawer and grabbed a brutal looking butchers knife, gripped the hilt, and threw it. The blade pierced the wall as if it was a loaf of fresh baked bread, showing the strength, and hatred behind his throw.

SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALBERT!" Lithuania then screamed, chest heaving with anger.

Oh god, Litva-Er, Lithuania is insane! He went through so much being under great mother Russia rule that his mind...couldn't stand it.

And now he's screaming at this 'Albert' person to shut up...

He had no other choice. Russia couldn't allow Lithuania to sink further into his insanity.

He would have to give Litv-L-Lithuania his freedom.

"Hold still, Lithuania." Russia ordered, reaching into his pockets and grabbing the key to the lock.

"Yes, my master." Lithuania returned his gaze to Russia.

_Click. _

The lock on the collar fell into Russia's grip, who then pocketed it. He undid the collar, pocketing it also. Finally, he hugged Lithuania. The embrace was awkward and pathetic. Lithuania hugged Russia, with all his strength. As if he never wanted it to end. The way the shirt fell off the brunette's shoulders, Russia could see the brand clearly. With that, and the cold nerve-wrecking kiss that Lithuania placed on Russia's neck sent chills running down his spine.

The kiss would have been normal had Toris not just ruined the wallpaper on the wall.

It's all his fault, what could he do, to save Litva, and his own sanity?

_'Forgiveness is the first step to sanity.'_

That's it...

Russia then placed a soft kiss on the brunette's cheek.

"I'm freeing you. You are no longer my slave." He said in a voice dry and emotionless, refusing to stutter. He then walked into his closet, and stuffed his belongings into his suitcase.

Lithuania froze, and didn't seem to move until Russia stuffed his belongings sloppily into his suitcase.

"Ne! I want to be with you forever and ever! Don't let me be alone! I love you!" He cried. Russia froze up himself, and couldn't help but smile.

"Y-you love me?" No! Don't buy into it. His mind was made up. He forced himself to give a mocking face. "Nyet. Liar. You are crazy, Litva. Insane. Just like me." He grabbed his stuff, and left. Slamming the door behind him. He fought back tears, he didn't want to leave his Litv-Lithuania behind. Russia fought himself to stay sane, he didn't want to hurt Lithuania again.

"Ne! R-Russia! Master!" Lithuania ran out the door, watching as Russia got on the elevator. A look of sadness crossed the violet eyed man, before he looked away.

"I won't hurt you again." He said softly.

"Don't leave me here alone! I'm not crazy!" The elevator door shut, leaving behind Lithuania's panicked expression behind it. Tears couldn't help but flow from his unnatural purple eyes, he couldn't fight them.

_I don't want to leave Litva! _

_But I have to..._

Russia left and sat on a bench waiting for a train. He smiled as a father and his daughter sat on the bench next to him.

"Hey, where you heading, comrade?" Russia heard the man say in Russian.

"Comrade?" Russia answered in response. He was sure he's never seen this man in his life, and he most definitely not a nation.

"You are not a soldier? My apologies, I must admit your attire looks like one." Russia looked at his clothes, realizing he was wearing a uniform from a few years back.

"No, I am a former soldier. Just being addressed by comrade was a shocker; I guess you could say in the least. You served for great mother Russia?" Russia smiled. He always enjoyed the men who served his country and honoured him so diligently.

"Yes I was." He nodded. "I then returned to my wife, when we had our beautiful Anastasia." The man smiled, patting his daughters golden-red locks, which curled around the girls porcelain features quite nicely. "I'm Victor Tchaikovsky, and who are you, if I may, comrade?"

"I am Ivan Braginski. Tchaikovsky? As in Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky?" Russia inquired.

"I am a great-great-great-great grandson of his." Viktor said, pride in his voice.

"Oh? Did you know that even though he was married, and had children, he had to reach the brink of insanity in order to marry a woman? Tchaikovsky was attracted to other men. But I love his compositions nonetheless." Russia recalled even having a relationship with the famous Russian composer. He was very handsome in his youth.

"Really? I didn't know. How can I trust you are speaking the truth Ivan?" Victor asked.

Russia chuckled.

"I knew the man." Russia leaned back in the chair. He hoped the man would piece it together. All men who served for his country knew the personification of Russia. He was shocked the man didn't recognized him instantly.

"You knew him..?! Comrade Braginski! It's an honour to meet you!" The man stood and extended his hand, which Russia just chuckled and shook.

"Thank you for serving for my country." Russia bowed his head and smiled. "Anastasia, you know your daddy is a great man, correct?" He asked, smiling at the girl. She blushed and nodded quickly. Grabbing Victor's hand and hiding behind him.

"It was my pleasure, comrade Braginski." The man bowed, before taking his seat once more next to Russia.

"You are Mr. Russia?" The girl asked, her voice sounding so much older than her eight year old body. Russia nodded.

"You are the one that took over mommy's country, Lithuania?"

"Malenkaya!" Victor smacked her on the head. The child was half Lithuanian, half Russian? Ivan chuckled bitterly at the irony.

"Yes. I did." Russia forced himself to admit, guilt washing over him.

"Why?" She asked, Russia laughed bitterly. His features growing cold.

"You know, Anastasia, curiosity killed the cat. Maybe you should be quiet."

"Curiosity killed the cat, yes, mister, that is indeed true. But satisfaction also brought it back." She said, a stoic look on her face. It was as if the child couldn't experience emotion.

Russia looked at his feet while the blue eyed child-so similar to Lithuania's- stared directly in what felt like Ivan's soul.

"I... I took over Lithuania because I was lonely. Because I loved him. _Love _him." Russia frowned.

"If you love him so much, then why did you let him go?" She asked.

"To protect him. He shouldn't have To Serve Insanity..." Russia mumbled. The girl seemed satisfied and nodded, then plopping down next to her father.

"So, comrade, where are you heading?" Victor repeated the question that started the conversation.

"I am... I am heading to the airport, to Mongolia. This train leads to the airport, yes?" Russia inquired, looking into Victor's brown eyes.

"It does. It leads to the airport, its final destination, Lithuania." Victor pulled his daughter onto his lap.

"I see, thank you." Russia nodded. "Why do you leave to Lithuania?"

"To visit Anastasia's mother's side of the family. Elizabet is deceased." Victor responded.

"My humble apologies for your loss."

"It's quite alright." Victor chuckled. "She died before Anastasia was born."

"Eh?" Russia raised his eyebrows.

"She died while Anastasia was still inside of her. They were lucky enough to be in America, where they cut her open and pulled Ana out, put her on life support and, well... The only problem is her growth hormones... Her body ages slower than she actually does. So technically, she is an American citizen as well as Russian!"

"I see." Russia would have said more, but the train came. He boarded after Victor, choosing to stand next to him, him being the only friendly face. Most Russian's never would talk to him, and he enjoyed it when they did. Russia feared he would step into an insane state, the one that hurt Lithuania all those times, but was eternally grateful Victor's voice prevented that.

What sent chills down his spine was that he saw Lithuania board the same train.

_Damn it!_

Lithuania didn't seem to see him, however. And began talking once more to himself, slipping into Russian and Lithuanian.

Victor narrowed his eyes at the man, and gripped his daughter's shoulders. Russia wanted to say something, but just couldn't find the words. Lithuania began looking around, and set his eyes on the girl, glaring at her, and then her father. He didn't seem to see Russia however. As soon as people filed off, some in fear of the insane man, Victor moved Anastasia away from Lithuania, Ivan hid his face and followed them.

Lithuania didn't know how to handle his insanity while in the public eye. Russia, who has dealt with it for years, knew how to handle it. But Lithuania has only just went insane... He hoped the Russian police force wouldn't take him away... Into an asylum.

Once they got to the airport, Russia once more shook Victor's hand and was hugged by Anastasia.

And he boarded the first flight to Mongolia.

The flight was long and claustrophobic, and Russia had to force himself to keep himself in this sane state. What he planned to do to Mongolia, he had to be sane.

The flight landed and going through the procedure of getting his suitcases and such was tedious. He hated flying because it seemed unnatural. Man wasn't meant to fly, otherwise they would be born with wings~!

Brushing that silly thought aside, he left the airport and began walking into Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia's capitol. He made his way to the apartment complex that his former master now lived in.

And knocked on the door.

**FUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Himiwari-chan is going to kick my ass for what I'm going to do! I hope I live...**


	16. Chapter 16

**You know what pisses me off? People who write fanfictions of Hetalia and know NOTHING about the countries. Like, Russia is not forever in winter, during the summer, Moscow gets quite warm~**

**My whole school thinks I'm from Lithuania. What a great way to start Highschool!**

**This one boy heard that I'm from Lithuania, and asked where it is. I said it was next to Russia, and he thought I was Russian ._.**

**So, I crashed my computer, and my dad has grounded me from it. So I only get it for a few hours a day now.**

**I directly quote the song They Are Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha~**

**I hate Doctor Who. It majorly distracted me.**

**Writing this at Sharis…**

Lithuania just couldn't believe it… As he rode the train to his country, he just couldn't believe Russia had left him, giving him that dreaded curse of _insanity._

People were staring at him, murming insults and cruel words of spite towards him. What bothered him the most is that he was only vaguely aware of it. He kept having to focus on these peoples words, as Albert screamed at him to listen. It was as if one was waking up from a dream, like flying, and didn't want to wake up.

He wanted to stay in this state, the state of awareness.

But he could feel it slipping rapidly.

"Listen to me! Talk to me, don't ignore me, I can't TAKE it!" he heard Albert scream. He's childish little tantrum was kicking and thrashing about. Finally Lithuania gave in and yelled at him.

"Shut up! I know you're there! Just SHUT UP!" He shouted. What was strange is that no one on the train looked at him. No one seemed to care anymore.

At that moment it seemed as if they entered a tunnel that never seemed to end. The walls seemed to be closing in, and black blood gushed down the walls of the train. The scent of blood became almost unbearable, that Lithuania started crying.

It was as if the blood on the walls, was his own.

Suddenly, coldness washed over him, and it was as if he was lost in the dark, icy cold void of Russia.

"Hey, faggot. C'mere." He heard Albert's voice call. Lithuania moved in the blood stenched train, past all the seemingly lifeless bodies of strangers.

"Are you cold too, Albert?" Lithuania asked. Albert chuckled darkly and tossed a lighter to Lithuania.

"Da, Litva. I have an idea to get us warm!"

"Well, what is it?"

"See, I cannot die, so you set me on fire, and use me to keep warm. I'll be warm, and so shall you!" Albert said happily, flipping his rainbow hair to the side.

The idea seemed perfectly logical to Lithuania, and he didn't feel like asking questions. So he took the lighter, and placed it on Albert's clothes.

The man began laughing psychotically as his whole figure was lit aflame. Like the golden sun that Russia experienced in the summer.

The warmth felt good, for only a brief moment, before his skin began to itch, twist, and burn. He began screaming himself, as Albert laughed with sheer joy. Finally, hands began slap and beat him, until the flames on Albert finally went away.

Men surrounded Lithuania, wearing clean white coats.

"They're coming to take us away…" Lithuania heard Albert say.

"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!" He screeched, laughing hysterically.

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa! To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time~!" He fell to his knees, kicking and screaming as men began wrapping a straight jacket around Lithuania's figure.

From his training in the army, Lithuania quickly grabbed the fabric and balled as much as he could in his fist.

"And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!" Albert's horrible Russian voice screamed.

The men loaded him in the back of a white truck, stuffing him in and slamming the door. The inside was cushioned and plush. Albert followed right behind. Laughing hysterically, louder and louder. As soon as the men shut the back door, Lithuania released the bunched up fabric and the straight jacket became looser.

He began wiggling, quickly slipping out of that awful straight jacket. He had never been in one before, but he recalled how to get out of one.

The ride was long, and for a while Lithuania just sat in the corner of the truck, with Albert's laughter finally dying down, his thoughts finally became clear.

They were taking him to an asylum.

He was insane.

This must be how Russia felt.

He didn't recognize that he was insane, but the random events that were accuring were an obvious sign. The men who loaded him up in here, put him in a straight jacket and put him in this van.

Fear overcame him. No. He didn't want to be put in an asylum! He didn't want to be locked up, and not have anyone know where he was!

Screaming.

That's the only thing he could think of to do. He knew it probably didn't help any, that the men in front probably it was just something an insane man would do.

No matter what he would do, he could act perfectly normal! But…but…

One little mistake, a little freak out…

Some crying….

From what he's heard, he would probably get shocked therapy, or hopped up on Lithium.

That wasn't a way to live.

He recalled when the other nations tried to get Russia into an asylum. With the rumours he heard, he wouldn't allow them to touch his master.

_Master…._

My master…..

Anger boiled up inside him. He was a slave, and he cared so much for this man! Who beat him all the time… finally raping him…

No way to live….

_It's all his FAULT!_

**Sorry it's short. I have to go to bed….**

**Oh, Himiwari-chan…**

**Imma get yew.**

**Fuck yeah.**


	17. I'm starting to get sick of this

**Himiwari-chan. Tell me if this chapter made you sad.**

**Also, thanks. You actually helped me a LOT with this chapter.**

**Have you ever been to Mongolian Grill? Well, according to a poster there, the Mongols used chopsticks instead of forks and knives because such things were meant to be used as weapons and were solely for violence. I find this so hilarious.**

**My perverted mind interrupted a lot of my sentences. 'He put the meat in his mouth' ._. lawls.**

**My history is so off.**

A man opened the door slowly, his hair was black, long, braided down his left shoulder. His eyes were golden like fields of wheat and his skin tanned like warm bread. His narrow eyes widened greatly at the sight of Russia, before he looked down, his head bowed with shame.

"Hello, Russia." Was all he seemed to be able to say.

"Hello, Mongolia." Russia said in response, before shoving paste him and making his way into the apartment.

"I have been suspecting you to come for a while. You already beat the crap out of me once, have you come to do it as an adult?" He snickered, in which Russia turned around and slammed Mongolia against the door, which slammed shut.

"Nyet. I've come to do something completely different. You think this is a joke, don't you? You don't know how much you have fucked me up." Russia pressed his arm against Mongolia's throat.

"Foolish kid. Don't you realize what I did for you?" Mongolia choked out.

"Did for me? You made me a monster." Russia growled. He fought to keep his sanity.

"But, Vanya." Mongolia whined.

"_I taught you everything you know."_

Russia froze up, dropping is arm.

"Nyet…" He muttered, backing away. He felt his sanity slipping, fear sent trembles down his spine.

"I made you into me, yes. What are you going to do about it?" Mongolia grinned, touching Russia's cheek as the larger man's legs gave out from under him.

"You're obviously still terrified of me…" Mongolia said sadly.

"N-no. I'm not scared… not a-anymore." Russia trembled as Mongolia pushed back the frightened man's hair back.

"Russia… You don't have to be afraid anymore. I can't hurt you. Not anymore, and not ever again." He reassured him. All of Russia's fight had left him, he felt like a child again as Mongolia touched his face.

"Y-you made me insane…."

"Tiim. I did." Mongolia answered softly.

"You beat me."

"Tiim."

"You raped me."

Silence.

"Mongolia…?" Russia asked out.

"T-t…..I didn't think you would remember that." Mongolia looked away.

"You did…."

"Shut up!" Mongolia suddenly screamed, frowning as Russia froze up.

Mongolia looked as his heart broke as Russia began crying, sitting on the floor.

The man sighed, bending down towards Russia. He wrapped his arms around his head, allowing Russia to bury his head into the other mans chest, still shaking. Russia realized how bony the man actually was now.

"Russia…. I was horrible. I know." He said, stroking his hair. Russia childishly clung to Mongolia's braid. "I thought…. Only of myself. I was still more of a child than you…" He tightened his grip around the other's head.

"Russia. Recall a time I was nice to you." Mongolia near-ordered.

"I-I can't…." Russia sobbed, Mongolia then sighed.

"You didn't even try." The Mongol stated. Russia ran his hand down Mongolia's spine, shivering at the feeling of bones. The man wasn't eating much.

"I-I'm trying!" Russia choked, and he closed his eyes.

_Fire…._

_To the rich, golden rimmed silk curtains._

_Russia tried to light a candle, and somehow set the curtains on fire. He knew he was going to be punished big time for this. Who knows how long Tatar would starve him, or how brutally he would beat him._

_Putting out the flames, Russia began crying. His whole body hurt from the last time Tatar beat him, and his stomach growled. He was always so hungry. The child wasn't allowed to take from the food supply without permission, and was often told no, than yes. As if that really made sense._

_Not knowing what else to do, the boy walked away. There was no way he could fix this, and a horrible punishment was in store._

_Russia cried as he made his way into the dining room, planning on telling his master of his foolish mistake._

_Shockingly, Tatar wasn't there._

_Not knowing what to do, fearing if he wandered off he would be in more trouble, he hid under the table, sobbing._

_And it couldn't be long until Tatar came home. The child shook and cried, he knew his body couldn't take another beating. He felt as if he would experience his first death. Since he was a nation and couldn't die, he knew about experience death, then come back to life._

_The door opened, and Russia couldn't help but cry harder. The first room would be the one with the ruined curtains, and then Tatar would come after him._

_A long sigh came from the other room, including the movement of the curtains, taking them down possibly._

_Then Tatar came into the dining room, and Russia tried to silence his crying. But it was impossible, and he ended up choking on his own sobs._

_Another sigh, and Tatar turned to the kitchen. After a few clatters of pans making contact roughly with one another, Russia heard water boiling, and began smelling rich food. Curry is what it smelt like, and it made the starving boy so hungry._

_After a few moments, Tatar put a plate down on the table. Russia wondered if Tatar really knew he was down there. Then again, how could he not? It's almost impossible to ignore a child's cries._

_Once more, a sigh._

_Tatar bent down and looked at the trembling boy. Pushing away some of the chairs, he grabbed the boy roughly by the waist. Russia cried out and began to squirm. Tatar KNEW how hungry he was and Russia didn't doubt he was going to eat in front of Russia, making the boy longing for a morsel. The Mongol had done that several times._

_Tatar went back to the seat the food was in front of, and sat Russia on his lap. Russia continued to cry, not being used to being held so kindly._

_Tatar cut into the curry, and picked a piece of meat up skillfully with the two wooden sticks. He put the piece in front f the child's mouth, who stared up in shock._

"_Open your mouth, little one." He ordered. Saliva filled Russia's mouth, creating a strange webbing as he opened his mouth, and Tatar put the piece of curry inside, and Russia began to chew. The food was so delicious. It was near impossible to describe. _

"_Why do you still cry?" Tatar asked, feeing Russia more food. It was obvious that the question was meant to go unanswered. Russia wiped his eyes, but couldn't stop trembling on Tatar's lap. The man frowned, and placed the chopsticks into Russia's hands. Lifting the boy once more, he set him into the chair and left the room._

_Russia continued to eat, to his full. The child couldn't remember the last time he wasn't hungry._

"_Master…Tatar…" He mumbled._

"_Tiim? What Russia?" Tatar asked._

_Russia began shaking again, and he looked away._

The violet eyes fluttered open, making eye contact with the golden ones.

"You weren't always violent." Russia rose to his feet. "But usually you were."

"I was an unhappy man."

"No shit."

"Why did you come here anyways? To laugh at my condition?" Mongolia stood next to him, Russia smirked at how short the Asian man really was.

"You're condition?" Russia asked.

"Tiim. I am under Chinese rule. You have been so occupied with your union, I'm not shocked you didn't know."

Russia looked away from the small man, who was so fearsome and large in his youth.

"And Russia…" he muttered.

"Da?"

"I am so sorry for the way I treated you. If I could take everything back, I would." He looked directly at Russia, who frowned.

"Mongolia. I can _never _forgive you."

"I understand." Was all he said. He turned away, and Russia shivered. He was being starved. It was apparent.

Russia sighed.

"Do you have a telephone I may use?"

"Yes. Ah, it's over here." Mongolia led the man to the hone, who instantly began dialing his boss.

"Ahoy~!" The other answered. Russia sighed.

"Hello. It's Ivan."

"Oh hello~ How are you~ Are you in Mongolia~? Why are you in Mongolia~? The number says you're in Mongolia~ What do you want~?" The man said.

"One question please…." Ivan trailed off. He was ALWAYS like that.

"Sorry. What do you want?"

"I want…. I order you to rally troops, if we don't have enough, get some off the streets, I don't care. Once you have done that, my orders are for you to help free Mongolia, and help him gain his independence."

"But I'm drinking vod-"

"I don't care. NOW." Russia growled.

"Ah~! Right away!" He hung up. Russia pushed past Mongolia and left, refusing to look him in the eyes. But Russia knew he saw a grateful smile on his old master's face.

Russia walked the depressing streets of Ulaanbaatar. HE just sighed, and went to a bar. Strangely, he felt perfectly normal. It no longer felt like his sanity was slipping.

Sitting at the bar, he ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender didn't waste time and gave him his shot quickly. Russia smiled his thanks, and looked up at the television.

The news reporter spoke in Mongolian, which Russia luckily spoke. He grew up with a Mongol after all.

"_The man started clawing at his wrists, eventually tearing into the skin and drawing blood. After that he set himself aflame, in which men who worked at the nearest asylum came and took him away. He is being hospitalized now."_

"_Do we know the name of this man?"_

"_Just in, the lunatic man is namedToris Laurinaitis, Aged 19"_

"Oh….fuck…." Russia took a shot, paid, and left to the asylum.

**I feel accomplished.**

**Yay~!**

**Okay, The Soviet Union helped Mongolia gain its independence. I just did it later than originally done.**


	18. Another Russia Chapter

It was a far way from Mongolia to Lithuania, and by the time Russia reached Moscow, he had to rest. This time he foolishly decided to travel by train and felt motion sickness overcoming him. Finally, when he felt he couldn't take the swaying, repeating motions of the train any longer, he chose to get off and sleep at the nearest inn.

_Just in, the lunatic man is named Toris Laurinaitis, Aged 19…_

"I drove Lithuania insane…" Russia muttered to himself as he sat on the hard bed of the inn. The thought that his own _insanity _spread to that most innocent man.

One that he loved, undoubtedly, with all his heart. And his own insanity, caused by years of war and rule under Mongolia, slowly caused his own _slave _to go truly and utterly mad.

Tears sprung forth from Russia's eyes. He only blamed himself, muttering that it was his entire fault. Despite knowing deep down that it wasn't at all, his intended doing.

He didn't even bother to undress. He just slipped off his shoes and curled up into the rather thick blankets. Staying at the inn, only made him think about Lithuania's rape more.

He prayed that Litva would forgive him.

The fact that he was no better than Mongolia, who had no excuse for his actions, stung his heart. That he was too, indeed a rapist.

These thoughts did nothing more than make him cry harder. In the end, he couldn't forgive Mongolia for his actions. He knew he never could. Some people just don't deserve forgiveness. Even though he apologized, ripping away his childhood, causing him to become an insane _monster, _making him miss most of his life as another being-one that was cruel and merciless-no, Mongolia could never be forgiven.

But, if he couldn't forgive Mongolia, then why should Litva forgive him?

The pain was eating him alive, he wished he could forget it all. No, he wished it never happened. He wished he never met Litv-Lithuania ever. Then he could have just been insane by himself, he would have never hurt his little Lithuania…

But the thought of utter loneliness, and _never _have meting Lithuania, made his heart want to shatter into thousands of more pieces than it already was.

Finally, he chose to just fade into sleep.

_The world had fog around everything, and Russia just stood, transparent in this dream-like state. It was haunting, eerie, yet at the same time inviting._

_He didn't feel the weight of a whole country. He wasn't Russia. A form of himself. A human form. He was simply Ivan Braginski._

_Looking upon his skin, he was only half visible, and fuzzy, almost. As if his eyes couldn't focus well enough on anything. It felt like he needed glasses. _

_Shapes and objects began to form around him, and he recognized it as his old house. Shadows of humans began to show features, turning into himself and Lithuania._

_Ivan watched as the other form of himself stepped closer to the trembling Lithuanian, who was garbed in a short maids dress, and Russia was reaching the back of the frightened man's skirt._

"_Litva~ Tell me how much you love me." Ivan watched Russia grin wider than he already was. His own happy grin sent chills down his spine._

_**Is this really how I am?**_

"_M-mr. Russia… I love you more than anything…" Lithuania shook, pulling away and leaning against a small set of a unseen vase to move slightly._

_**Lithuania…. Do you not see that vase?**_

_Russia was obviously not pleased with the answer he received, as his grin twisted into something darker, crueler. Lithuania took his hands and blocked his neck, as if he expected Russia to start chocking him, stepping back once more and knocking the vase down._

"_You obviously despise me Litva." Russia said as Lithuania's eyes widened at the vase, quickly bending over and picking up the shattered pieces. "You just recklessly ruin my property. Sometimes you even make it so I have to ruin you, my property._

_**He is his own person. Lithuania is not property! He is a living, breathing human being!**_

"_Such a bad child. Bad children should be punished, da~?" Russia said as he stepped down on Lithuania's wrist, causing him to drop all the broken glass back onto the floor. Russia then giggled happily as he sat on the floor, and laid Lithuania on his stomach, upon Russia's lap. The large man bent Lithuania's legs awkwardly in order to take off the finally sobbing man's shoes. He tore them off, and the tall socks Lithuania wore, before standing the broken down brunette._

_**What am I doing..?**_

"_Please master, no! My feet hurt from the last time I broke something, p-please, reconsider!" Lithuania chocked out between the floods of tears. Seeing such fear, towards himself, Ivan had to wipe his own eyes._

"_Nyet. Litva's been bad, da? And no matter how many times we must repeat this lesson, I know that you will eventually learn your lesson." Russia purred, and he nudged the barefooted Lithuanian towards the suddenly menacing shards of shattered clay vase._

"_Ne! I will not! Stop treating me like I'm nothing but a slave! I am a servant, not a slave!" Lithuania said loudly, turning around and showing Russia roughly. However, the insane man went unfazed._

_**Bad idea…**_

_Russia growled as he took Lithuania by the upper arm tightly and walked him across the broken, sharp clay. Lithuania cried in pain, and tried wriggling away to no avail. Russia just laughed happily as blood began to stain Lithuania's feet and the floor._

_**I always wondered about that bloodstain… So this must have happened. My insane self is informing me on what he's done.**_

"_Kolkol~ You are wrong, my dear Litva. You ARE a slave. Nothing more and nothing less. You are my property, and don't even belong to yourself. Anything you own is mine too. And if I want it, you shall give it, da?"_

"_Ne, I am a person! I own something! Something has to belong to just me! This is your horrid way of thieving me of my pride and honour! I am a soldier! You won't win, you MONSTER!" Lithuania growled, and pulled away from Russia again. But the blood loss and pain of walking made his knees wobble and shake. To the point he could barely stand._

_**You were so afraid a moment ago. You still are, deep down. But you don't want me to win… This monster shouldn't win.**_

_**Besides, I doubt I'm taking you seriously. You ARE in a dress, after all.**_

"_Litva, I guess you can say your clothes, and cleaning supplies belong to you. But you belong to me, my little slave. You work against your will, are forced to stay and NEVER leave, do what I say, and if you mess up. I whip your pretty little back." Russia hued as the man finally collapsed under his own weight, Russia catching him before he fell into the glass. He then maneuvered his fingers under the dress, Ivan could just FEEL those scars he was touching. Those horrible scars. Lashes from whippings, carvings in Cyrillic from knives, burn marks from lighters and matches…. Ivan knew he didn't have that branding yet. That horrible, horrible branding. The one that marked Lithuania __permanently____as property of another._

_The one that forever symbolized his enslavement._

"_I want to go home… I don't want to be here…" Lithuania said, as Russia picked him up as a man would a bride, and began taking him somewhere._

"_You're never going home…" Russia said, a hint of sadness. "A slave will never leave his masters side."_

_At those words, Lithuania seemed to break. Tears began rushing down his pale, bony cheeks. All he could seem to think of to do is bury his face into Russia's jacket. By this point, Ivan could no longer hold back his tears as much, and just let them fall. He knew Lithuania wasn't happy. But he would have never expected he was this miserable with his life there._

_**I'm so so sorry, my lovely little Toris.**_

_Russia carried the depressed Lithuanian to his own room, and laid him on his bed. Lithuania looked up at Russia with wet eyes, demanding to know why he was laying in his master's bed._

_Russia seemed to like the innocence, and took off his boots, then sat on his bed, smiling. Lithuania maneuvered himself to keep an eye on the insane man, without making contact with his bloody feet. Lithuania started shaking as Russia slipped off his pants and boxers. Staring down at Russia's manhood made him cry harder. As if he already knew what he had to do._

"_W-why, master?" He sobbed. Russia grinned, seeming to like being called master._

_**What are you….?**_

_Russia started laughing, psychotically. Lithuania seemed to absolutely overcome with fear, and sprinted from the bed, failing from the sharp clay lodged deep into his feet, and collapsing to the floor, continuing to cry._

"_My slave has been bad, da? He shoved me, ahhhh, called me mean names, and, ah, oh yes~! Tried to run from his punishment. Now, how should he be punished? Mentally, physically, or sexually?" Russia smiled happily as Lithuania crawled to his knees. His features twisted into a look of fear and hatred._

"_I know~! All three~!" The man cheered. Lithuania folded his body in half, trembling hard. He was bowing as low as he could._

"_M-master Russia, please don't- sp-spare me! I'm so sorry!"_

_**I reduced him to begging…**_

"_I'm sure we can find another way to make me learn my lesson! A compromise, maybe?"_

"_Litva. There is no such thing as compromise in mother Russia. Now open your mouth." He ordered, yanking up his hair and pulling his face next to his manhood._

_All he did was nod, and take the whole thing into his mouth at once. He didn't need any preparation. _

_He was used to this._

_**He's done it before.**_

"_Look at me. This is the mental part now." Russia ordered. Lithuania forced himself to look up into Russia's eyes. The happy grin disappeared and a cold, dark look came on his face._

"_You will never be the man you were before.__ Look at you, you're nothing now. So great you were, back in the days of your commonwealth, now you're nothing. You are a disgrace to your people, a shame, and an outcast to everyone around you._ _You don't deserve to live. You should just die. You're a sex toy, nobody cares about you." The words were twisted sounding, and in a lower voice than he usually spoke._

_All Lithuania did was continue to cry. What else could he do? His punishment was already out of hand. He shuffled his legs together awkwardly._

"_Are you turned on by this? HA! You are such a masochist." He said, pulling his dick from Lithuania's mouth and patting the man's face, which had drops of semen dripping down. _

_Russia then kicked Lithuania in the stomach, laying his fists down upon him. Beating him as Lithuania just shook hard, crying as each fist made contact. The cries always came louder if they hit his back, which was Russia's main target._

"_That was your physical punishment." He said to the man, who seemed as if he couldn't take much more_

_**Oh god…**_

_Russia picked him up and dropped him in the bed. He pulled off Lithuania's lower garments until he wore nothing. Russia pushed the smaller mans legs back until all his shameful places were showing. Lithuania could no longer look. He closed his eyes and turned his head away._

_**No, I won't allow it! **_

_Ivan ran toward his other dream self, and attempted to shove him away, but instead he went inside the man, and became him._

_He was in control._

_He put Litva's legs down and covered his manhood with the blankets. Ivan, once more Russia took the trembling man into his arms and hugged him._

"_I'm sorry, Litva. I'm so so so sorry. Please, I'm sorry! I can't say it won't happen again, but I am so so so so sorry." Was all Russia could bring himself to say. Lithuania didn't move as Russia held him._

"_Master…" My name is Ivan… "Please…."_

"_Please don't touch me… Please."_

Russia awoke to a tear stained face. He got up and went to the bathroom, washing his face. And looking into the mirror.

"I really am a monster…" He muttered allowed. He looked outside and saw it was day. He pulled on his boots, and left the inn.

He sighed as he got back on the train. That dream was truly awful. He knew Lithuania was punished, but would have never guessed it was that brutally. It hurt him to see Lithuania in so much pain, and just crying so pathetically. The asylum was only a few miles away, and he reached there in no time.

The asylum was one of the nice ones, nicer than most in Russia. He walked inside and up to the front desk.

"Hello. I am Ivan Braginski." He told the recepstionist.

"Hello. Have you come to check in, or are you visiting?"

"I am here to visit my ….wife." He smiled.

"Oh? And what is her name?" the receptionist asked with a smile.

"Laurinaitis, Toris Laurinaitis." Russia said, calmly. The mans eyes widened as he began frantically typing into his computer.

Two men in white came out quickly and looked at Russia.

"Are you Ivan Braginski?" One asked.

"Da?" Russia asked, almost confused.

"Right this way." The other said, motioning Russia to walk through the asylum. Russia shook off the bad feeling he was getting here. He never liked asylums.

He felt as if he needed to be in one.

The pulled out a key at the end of a long corridor, and opened it to a rather nice room, with curtains, carpets, a hospital bed, and strangely enough, cleaning supplies. He saw Lithuania sleeping in the bed, and looked at the two men.

"Why are there cleaning supplies?"

"It calms him down, to clean." One said. "Should we leave you alone? We will keep moniter if he tries something."

"I should be fine. Please leave." He said, ushering the two from the room. He closed the door behind them, and sat on a plush chair near the bed.

And simply waited.


	19. Cliche

He felt as if he could sleep forever, never to wake up to the perfectly clean room he was trapped in. Sleeping and cleaning seemed to be the only amusement, which actually wasn't that much different than his original lifestyle.

But another reason Lithuania enjoyed sleeping is because he often dreamt of his friend. The blonde one, who was rather girly despite being male. But once he slept, he was happy. It felt weird to be happy, but laying there with his best friend, of whom he grew up with, was magical. Even if it was only in this fogged dreamland.

But the dream grew dark, and cold, suddenly. As if his body was warning him, alerting him of nearby danger and sending mental warnings he had to get up at that very instant.

But he wanted to stay in this land, of where he was happy, with Feliks.

Why did he leave Feliks, Poland, Lithuania could not quite recall…Something about being taken away.

_That's right…. Russia took me away when my commonwealth fell. Tore us up….._

Upon the dream, Feliks frowned, and walked away from him. Despite calling out, Lithuania found himself immobile, and mute.

He woke up.

To the blank ceiling everyone was far too afraid to put some god damn designs on. A sudden pang hit his chest, and he thought of Russia's Kremlin, which had beautiful designs on the ceiling….

Why was it so cold in here anyways? It was ridiculous. It felt like Russia in here.

Something knotted in his throat, and tears slowly trickled down his pale cheekbones. The thought of Russia, the hatred and fear that stabbed that cold metal knife into his heart made him tremble. Then the fear of such a terrifying man made his heart begin to beat faster, as if he ran a marathon. The fear, made him think he was in the room. What if he was in his room? What if he wanted to hurt him again?

This is all incredibly foolish! Russia abandoned him in the end. Once he finally got the chastity out of his slave's body, he threw him away. Like the garbage he probably was.

Sighing, he looked up. Deep down he knew Russia wasn't in the room, but he had to look to calm his nerves.

He stretched as he sat up, and froze, in quite an odd position. He lowered his arms slowly and began to tremble.

"Oh god, I'm hallucinating again." Was all he could bring himself to say. He took the medicine the people in white gave him to calm the fuck down. They said he had some weird mental disease. They weren't quite sure if it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or Schizophrenia….Maybe both….

Lithuania just laid himself down again, covering himself with the blankets. Planning to return to sleep, and escape from this dreadful hallucination of Russia sitting in the chair in his room.

"Sunsnukis." Was all the brunette could bring himself to say.

"Litva. Please don't call me names in your tongue." Russia frowned.

"Kodėl, po velnių?! Jūs gana sušikti verti!" He shouted, screaming that he had every right to.

"Litva…." Russia looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry…." He choked out.

"You think that can make up for it?!" he grabbed the nightstand and threw it with a inhuman strength, hitting Russia in the head and knocking him straight down. The men in white quickly made there way in and started holding the hysterical man down, but was stopped as Ivan slowly rose to his feet, and motioned the away.

"You abused me….. for over 200 hundred years….. You took my virginity to forceful rape and hell, you branded me!" he turned away. "How can I forgive you, if I've always been your filthy whore?" he snapped.

"Litva….." Russia looked down. "I-I…..wasn't me…..wake up….and you were hurt…."

"Shut up! Don't lie to-" the brunette was caught off abruptly to a kiss on the lips.

"Please…. I love you. I love you more than anything. I'm so sorry you got hurt. Remember all those times you were hurt by…me? And then I cleaned you up? It was me that did that. If I left you down in the basement bleeding, then it was him." Russia looked down, face red. "I love you…."

Lithuania didn't seem to know what to say, and turned away.

"Then why did you leave me alone. They think I'm crazy. I probably am… But I wanted nothing more than to be by your side…." Lithuania muttered.

Russia sat on the bedside, backs facing each other. Both unable to look one another into the eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, and Lithuania didn't want his own soul to look into the diabolical monsters.

The monster that he loved more than anything.

"I know." Russia said. "It's probably impossible to ask….But….. do you…" He looked down, as Lithuania turned his head to Russia's.

"What?" he asked, looking into those perfect purple orbs.

"No…it's too much to ask…. I'm still coping with my own insanity." Russia chuckled bitterly and stood up.

"What?" Lithuania asked again.

"It's not like you would agree with me anyways. You would have to be a complete _masochist_ to want to come and live with me again…." The ashen blond man began pacing the room.

"Live with y-you again?"

"See! You're stuttering already! Yes, live with your master again. But I don't want to be a master, Litva. My true feelings….. I love you. A lot. I want to be your…." He turned away, wiping his eyes as if he was ashamed for asking.

"You want to be my what?" Lithuania asked hesitantly.

"I want to be your god damn boyfriend! I mean husband-no I can't expect that of you-boyfriend!" Russia fell to his rump and pulled his knees close, burying his face in it. "No…you hate me….Forget I said anything."

Lithuania didn't seem to say anything as Russia started to cry. He bent down next to his old master and stroked his face. When Russia looked up, he was a sniveling snot-nosed mess. Lithuania smiled and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped his tears and snot away. The brunette kissed Ivan's cheek very softly, making it apparent that he was still rather frightened of him.

"Okay." He smiled, and laid his head on Russia's shoulder, taking his hand.

"R-really?" Russia asked hopefully.

"Really."

**I decided roleplaying with Vanya Heart has made me really mushy over this couple. Fuck you Vanya. I hope you drown in a spoon. Then step on a lego. (I can say dis. She iz mai twin apparently.)**

**Himiwari-chan : I hope I made you happy.**

**Everybody else: I'm sorry it's short! D:**


	20. I FINALLY UPDATE

My dad is mean, and he took my laptop, phone, nook, DS and PSP. I CANNOT write anywhere but school. :/ Sorry I'm having so much trouble updating. But thanks to everyone who reviewed! 76 reviews…..by golly this is the most reviews EVER.

Ah, it was so grand to hold the man he loved so dearly in his warm embrace once more. A smile spread across his face as they left the asylum with a large amount of medication he himself disliked the thought of his precious Lithuania ingesting….

But if it was to fix the problems he caused him mentally….. It would be best if he took them. He wished he could have some, he still didn't feel fully in control….. But he shook his head, and smiled at the Lithuanian man who laid in his embrace. Toris' eyes glanced up at him, two beautiful rivers. A kiss was planted onto Ivan's cheek, and the taller man blushed darkly.

"Will I still be a servant when we get home?" He asked. Ivan frowned, and his head shook to both sides, ashen pale hair flowing in silky waves.

"Nyet. You will be my lovely little wife, da~?" Ivan picked the man up, and set him on his hip the way a mother would her child, and continued on his walk. "I got us a nice little cottage in Lithuania and it'll be so nice, us happy together….Forever and ever~. I finally got my precious little Lithuania. You want this, da? Not scared of me and said yes…" The Russian man said with a sad tone, and walked to the train station.

"No Vanya, I didn't." Toris smiled and leaned up, kissing his cheek softly once more, as the taller man bought two tickets. Toris smiled softly and looked at his feet with almost a fascination. "I love you alot...y-yeah..." The man began to shake, "I j-just wanted you to say you were sorry...But you n-never..." Toris' hands shook hard and finally he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Toris...?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTER!" Toris shouted and, and shoved the man away roughly, then clutched his head as tears fell. "Look what you've done to me! They put me in an asylum!" Toris looked at Ivan, then his surroundings and shook "Ne... you kidnapped me again,..." Toris spat at Ivan's feet, then flinched hard as he made the terrified man stand.

"Stop...stop touching-"

"Shut up Toris... you're fine. I won't hurt you so shut up...okay?"

"Lies! You always say lies and never ...never treat me kindly..." Toris sobbed.

"I will treat you kindly now, okay?! I-I'll try...Litva...Litva...I'll try for you, da?" Ivan bowed his head, and sighed. "I-I'll try... Come on Litva, I'll take you to a bar... I won't drink. I'm probably awful-"

"You are awful when you're drunk. Look at my back and you'll get an idea." The man shook.

"Litva... Were you diagnosed... with a split personality?" Ivan frowned and looked at his medication.

_'Take one a day for Dissociative Identity Disorder'_

"...None the less, Litva. You're living with me, so come on." The train pulled up and opened its doors, in which Russia pulled him on. "I love you..."

The other man was silent.

Discontentment caused Russia to bite his lip, but he forced himself not to say anything either. He knew he couldn't force Toris to love him...but his soul seem attached to the other man's like a leech, unwilling to let go, despairing at the very thought of leaving its source of life. Some sort of sorrow glimmered in his eyes, not touching the corners of his mouth that were forced into a plastic smile.

"...look out the window, Toris. Focus on the scenery." Russia murmured without thinking. He wasn't sure if the other man heard him but he himself followed his own advice and peered out the glass he was seated by. Nothing he saw outside was able to numb the longing he felt for Lithuania's love.

Throughout the whole trip, the newly-diagnosed psychopath said not a word to his former master. His lips stayed stapled shut, and his eyes glued straight ahead. However, as the lull of the train passing over the tracks began to grow old, and the track itself seemed never-ending, Russia watched his previous Lithuanian's eyelids flutter sleepily. He spoke not a word, not wanting to startle him, but soon enough Toris was fast asleep.

Conveniently, the man topped aside as he drifted into unconsciousness, and his head landed upon Russia's shoulder. "Mmm..." A noise escaped him as he snuggled that broad shoulder like a child would to its mother.

A smile spread across Russia's features and he kissed Lithuania on the forehead with velvet lips, uncaring if anyone around him saw and condemned him. "Ah, my sweet Litva..." He whispered into the other's ear. "You have no idea how much I love you."

Russia felt like he was coming to life inside; a flame was blazing and growing within his desolate soul of rock and snow. He grasped Lithuania's fragile glass body in his large hands - hands that beat and abused - and held his former slave like a baby. As the train was nearing its stopping point, Russia sang to the sleeping Lithuania, softly, right into his ear...knowing full well that the man would never know he did.

"Do you know you have the most beautiful eyes?" Russia asked his sleeping object-of-affection lovingly as the train came to a stop.

_Now stopping at: Utena, Lithuania._ A voice read monotonously.

Russia ignored it and continued with his doting. "Da...when I was little, and I saw your eyes, they reminded me of these sapphire jewels that Mongolia had... They were on a necklace - for a woman - but remained forever untouched and locked away." A bitter smile played upon his lips, and he lifted Lithuania in his arms and carried him out of the train. "When I saw you...I thought...there is no one more worthy to wear those sapphires than this person standing before me, because his eyes could bring back the passionate glimmer those stones once held. You were like a prince - or princess - to me, you see..." Russia trailed off as he looked around himself.

Utena was a rather industrialized town, it was apparent. Small factories chugged off and on, scattered about the place, and bright-colored house pressed side-to-side, as well as the occasional bar. The air seemed rather fresh, however, compared to some other places in the world, and everything had a crisp, clean look to it. Russia almost awoke Lithuania to have him look, but seeing as this was not their final destination he decided better of it. "Just outside this old city is our new home." Russia stated; it was almost like he was talking to himself since Lithuania remained irresponsive. "In the giant green forest, next to a beautiful lake that shimmers like crystals!"

Laughing joyfully, he started walking down the crowded streets without a care. People parted out of his way, as if intimidated by him, but Russia seemed unfazed. The dark gray gravel crunched like bones beneath his boots and the frail, emaciated body in his arms subduedly snored. Down past the gray and brown houses Russia traipsed, passed the great green and orange factories and the gutter-colored bars with their brightly-lit windows. He went through the city of Utena, and then out of it again, into the countryside, the virgin woods, that lay waiting nearby.

As promised, he brought his little Lithuanian - down a beaten dirt path - and to a small but lovely cottage in the forest. Small dull flowers grew up all around the place, swaying slightly in the wind and dropping delicate petals now and then. In front of the house there was an imperfect wooden boardwalk that lead out to a giant, aquamarine lake. Tiny silver fish could be spotted swimming beneath the surface, and Smew ducks glided across the water beside Whooper swans. To Russia, this place would be perfection.

"You need to wake up soon, Litva..." The man murmured as he went towards the door to unlock it. "Look around yourself! There's no one here but us...but towns not far off! And there's so many pretty animals and flowers..." As if to confirm this statement, a beautiful turtle dove, with it's tortoiseshell patterned feathers, landed on the roof of the house and crooned down at Russia. It somehow brought a warmth in his chest, and he was happier than ever when he brought Lithuania inside to his new home.

He set him on the wide, light tab couch and kisses his forehead, cheeks and lips, then shook him tenderly by the shoulders. "Toris! Wake up! Wake up and see your new home!" He pleaded, and in his excitement the shaking got a little bit rougher.

Slowly, Toris opened his eyes of blazing blue sapphire to peer out at the world around him.

"Vanya….Where are we? Is this your new home? Are you gonna collar me again~?" Toris giggled, and twirled around Ivan's nipple, chuckling. "So I can be yours forever~?" Toris kissed his nipple, and buried his nose into his chest.

"Nyet Litva, I'm not, because that's mean and I want to be nice to you…." Ivan frowned and pulled Lithuania closer and kissed his head, then rested him onto his crotch. "I want you to love me for my kindness…. I want you to lo-"

Toris frowned and closed his eyes, then took hold of Ivan's hand and struck himself with it. "Ah! You're hitting me Ivan! You're hitting me!" Toris smiled, but displeasure took over as Ivan snatched his hand away in horror, and tears trickled down.

"Nyet! Toris! It was an accident , I didn't mean to, I'm sorry! I'm…."

"_I'm sorry master! I'm sorry" The small child screamed in upmost horror, and curled himself into a ball._

"_For your idiocy, you get to be locked up." Tatar stood over him and cackled. He grabbed the crying, shaking child by the hair and pulled him along. He stuffed him into a small human cage and locked it tight. The child sobbed and pushed his little fingers through the holes in the cage, trembling in the small prison._

"_I __**told**__ you to make me a feast!" The Mongol screeched at the child. "And you burnt it! You can eat the scraps from the garbage for all I care about your shit face!" The man left and came back, carrying the basket of garbage, filled with scraps of food and dirt, and dumped it over onto Russia. It oozed through the bars and covered the rags on the boy. The cage was filled with food scraps, garbage sludge, and the childs own waste from being in here before. He laid in it all, finally weeping._

"_Shut up whore!" Saliva spewed from the Mongols mouth and splattered on the child's face. Tatar picked him up and shook the cage up and down, laughing at his cries of pain as he hit the top and smashed back into the bottom. Garbage and waste splattered all over. Some got into the screaming child's mouth. Finally the man chucked the cage across the room, sending Russia crashing into a wall, and the cage landing upside down._

"_Enjoy sleeping in your own shit piss and food. I'll come get you in a month." The man left the dark, mold, rat infested room, and blew out the candle, leaving the boy in darkness. Russia wept as rats and bugs crawled and bit him. The boy tried to hoard his scraps of food, but all he got was an old bone, while the rats got the rest._

_The entire time he lay there, he dreamed of one day the small Lithuanian boy coming to save him. He dreamed of them together and happy…. They cold kiss, like he and Mongolia did, but Russia would want it and not cry. Lithuania wouldn't cry either._

_And all would be happy._


End file.
